azielovemusic

Stressed Out.

2011-10-29T04:09:00.006+08:00

28.09.2011 ** our 6th Years Annivesary **

urgh! i look creepy!! :0

Yikeeeeessss!

Again, it's been a month since my last update! It's exam week, GREAT!! I just can't wait to get over it. Exam just drives me crazy!

My Life???
Urgh! I don't even wanna start! Well, actually it's not that bad. Nevermind....

Ooooooooh yeaaaaaaah, The Walking Dead Season 2 is already playing on TV!
WooHoo!! ATLAST! BEEN WAITING FOR SO LOOOONG!! LOVE IT!!!!

Ok this is just a random update. I can't sleep, it's almost 5am n I'm still awake while everybody are enjoying their sleep! Urgh!! It's very...VERY...hard to sleep when I got ALOT of things on my mind!!! PLUS this freakin TEETH IS KILLIN ME!!

Done.
Have a nice day!
:)

Late Update! : Selamat Hari Raya :)

2011-09-24T01:20:00.012+08:00

Just an Update For Raya. Some few pictures, there's more but I'm kinda lazy to upload hehehehehehehe...I enjoyed My Raya with My Love Ones, That's All I can say! I LOVE THEM SO MUCHHHH! :)

My Family :)

My cousin, Mom and Me.

Me and Aunty.

My Sis, Me, Mom, Dad and Sis.

Me and Cousin.

My Sis, Aunty, Me and Cousin.

Aunties, Me&Him.

My Man!

Love This Guy So Much!

p/s: 4more days to goooo~~ I'm hoping something special!! hehehehehehehe. Hopefully!

HAVE A NICE DAY PEEPS!!

So...Raya's Coming..........!!!

2011-08-30T15:57:00.014+08:00

Puasa is almost over! I don't know what to feel exactly. Well..I'm a bit excited but at the same time I don't. I'm gonna go back attending night classes on the 5th September which I'm so not excited about!! Plus BIG exam's cominnnn!! STRESS OUT!

So...Yeah, since it's almost raya plus it's payday at the moment, traffic is hectic busy, shops supermarkets are all busy!!! Everywhere I go is FREAKIN BUSY! I've been going out so much lately urgh so exhausted, I have to go buy this buy that and it just won't stop!! Just today, I'm just chillin at home resting but tonight will be going out AGAIN!! wOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.

And guess what?!! Lately, I've been feeling this pain in my right ear! And damn, it's killin me plus it's annoying!! I don't know what's up with it, all I know is IT'S ANNOYING! It's been four days now and I'm just gonna give it a month to heal by itself and if doesn't I might want to consider myself to do a check-up! Which I don't think I want to HEHEHE. I hate going CLINIC OR HOSPITAL! Urgh I just hope it will heal soon :(

Alright! I think that's all for this post. Just wanna do an update :)

" SELAMAT HARI RAYA MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN EVERYONE!! "
Hope u guys have a fun and exciting raya with ur family and love ones~ hehehe

p/s: I almost forgot! I realised that everytime I click ur names, this blogobo websites appeared! I don't like freakin know how that website works and I would really love to read ur blog so can u guys just kindly text in the box ur blog sites ( not in the 'email' box, what I meant was in the 'message' box ) . I would love to check it out :)

At Last, We're 20!

2011-08-17T00:17:00.007+08:00

The Love Of My Life. 118 <3 128 .( Urgh! I look freakin fat in this pic )

At laaaaaaaaaaast, we're now 20! Hehehehe. And less than a month will be our 6th Years Annivesary! Times flies so fast~ We were only 15th back when we first met N now here we are all grown up! We're now officially in our twenty hehehhe. Soooo We went for sungkai the other day on 13th, he decided to take me out for sungkai celebrating our 20th birthday! * atu baru sweet! * ( Thanks babe <3<3 ).

A Special Thanks To The Aunties For The Bag * loving it! pink xah buuliihhh hehehehehe * N Also To My Babe For The MAC 88 pallette * at last! I owned it! love it!!! * I LOVE U GUYS SOOOMUCHH! FAHAM WAH YATAH BISAAAI :P

I would love to post more but I'm so sleepy, didn't have that much sleep! 2days wah inda cukup tidur!! Very tireddddd. Been going out non-stop the last few days! I'm exhausted. I need to rest N sleep cukup-cukup.

It's raining rightnow, COOOOLLLLD! Mun tido tah nyaman ni time hujan-hujan ni.....hehehehehehhe...I'm going to dreamland nooooowwwww wooohooo LET'S SLEEP!

OHYEAAAH ALMOST FORGOT. It's 17th, HAPPY 21ST ANNIVESARY TO MY BELOVED BABAH N MAMA!! LOVE THEM SOMUUUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. :)

Ramadhan Oh Ramadhaaan :)

2011-08-02T01:52:00.003+08:00

IT'S RAMADHAAAANNNNN~~~PUASAAAA!! HEHEHE. As usual routine for puasa, stay up until sahur......After sahur will be sleeping timeeeee hehehehe. Glaaaaaddd I don't have class on ramadhaaaann!! I could relax n stay away from books! Tapi jangan jua belambak bah kaja rumah aaaah!! SPOILEDDDD!! N I felt bad for the schoolers, sekulah xah puasa~~kekekeke.Awww too baaaaaad :p But anyhoo, HAPPY RAMADHAN YA'LL :) I'll be turning 20 this month N so do My baaaaaby~~~Hehehehe times flies so faaaaast.

Soooo....Hm....I feel like posting about my relationship AGAIN!! Don't know where else I can let it out N here it goes...Yesterday, I was trying to talked to him about US N as usual he's so Un-excited(is that even a word?whutevee) about it. So I found it freaking BORING!! Where's the commitment dude?! Lack of communication eh, BORING. He used to be so sweet but now AH PAHIT!! He used to be romantic but sekarang AH ROMANTIC KEPALA HOTAK. " Awal-awal memang Sweet Dah Lama-lama Pahit", So TRUE! It really bothers me seeing couples(long-term relationship)happy, sweet masih macam dulu-dulu N NO COMPLAINTS! I'm not sayin that I'm not happy, ada masanya lah. He said I'm complaining too much! Baik jua xah daripada di simpan sakit saja hati baik jua terus terang. Antah all that I said to him masuk kah jua inda in his ear N head! Tau-tau masuk kanan keluar kiri! I just want to have something to remember wah everyday I see him. Ani nada bah all I can think N remember about is HE'S BORING. I missed the good times that he N I had years agoo. Well maybe everything changed bcos we're getting older, tapi orang lain inda jua cemani ku liat :( I'm not sayin that I want the old him, NO STRICTLY NO! I love the new him tapi hm ada sikit-sikit perlu di usai. N so do I! Atleast, I'm trying~~:s Sometimes sanak ku bah mikirkan kan giveup rasanya ada jua but hm this feelings that I had for him just won't fade awaaaay N I kept remembering all the good N bad times we went through, it's just not easy to let that all go. I'm not a 'pro' when it comes to letting go. Boring kah ia Banci kah ku kan ia(depends lah jua banci pasal apa), sayang ku masih. I know maybe I'm too harsh saying things to him at times, by the look on his face I know he's upsad N down whenever I'm complaining N told him that he's boring. I feel bad but at the same time I feel good that he knew everything that I kept inside. I know he's also trying but to me it's not enough :( Urgh guess I stopped here, rindu pulaaaaang~~

I LOVE MY MR.BOOORING! <3 118128 <3

AAARGHH POSTING ABOUT U MAKES ME WANT TO CALL U NOWWWWWWWWWWW!! REALLY MISS THE GOOD TIMESSSS :(

Lastmin Plan Vacation.

2011-07-19T10:27:00.006+08:00

So I went to KK last week with My Baby, My Aunties, Cousins, Siblings and My Grands. It was totally a lastmin plan...We were suppose to be going to Miri on that Friday morning and on that time jua Our Grandpa decided to go to KK. We were like HAH BANAR BAH?! Apa inda HAH BANAR BAH baju bah pack sikit saja hehehe and it was totally a lastmin plan... Sekali mendangar ke KK atu bah, yang inda ikut pun jadi ikut! Hahaha. Not me btw it's my sister :p So sharp at 10am we jalan, sampai sana around 7pm. I was very sick at that time, didnt really had that much fun...SALAH TIMING BAH DAMAM AH :( Seperadian kami damam ah no fun :s But damam2 pun manage jua ku bah shopping sampai kapih :p hehehe. Overall I had fun jua lah..So did my baby hehehe everyone pun jua :) We arrived Brunei At 10pm on Sunday last week. And here I am blogging and still sick :( Almost a week now aargh I cant even tastes food. Siksaaanya Akuuu :( Im badly craaving for something.....I want to eat nyaman2 baaah. Hoping this sick will go away soon, I cant stand this. Morning!

its hard!

2011-07-05T22:11:00.001+08:00

Maybe it was me or maybe it's him. Is it wrong for me to be jealous? To be curious? To be mad? To ask? Bulih bah ku inda jeles ku inda marah kalau ku inda sayang. Ani sayang ku bah! Why cant u just freakin understand?! N now ur blaming me for not trusting u! Buduh atu luwan d asuh wang, fikir wah mana silap mu! Told u billion of times it will be hard for me to trust u! Even it happened years ago but the past that hurts me its hard to forget! Im not that kinda person yang boleh lupakan things yang hurt me cematu saja, it ain't easy apalagi bukan sekali dua terjadi! Ya i know i was a jerk too in the past, doesn't mean u can trust me n i should do the same! Im not being selfish, im just being too protective to myself! Sometimes u made me think " why should i be with u when i can be with someone else!" n i told u that a week ago! Lupa sudah kah? Do u really want me to be who i used to be 5 years ago? Wish ur reading this stupid. U pissed me off! Blaming me 100% it ain't cool dude, it's war! I dont give a shit.

I dont know it would be this hard. Dont know it would be this complicated. Its makin me insane! Bakal saja sayang mun inda, i would not waste my time holding on to this relationship! Mind my words, im so pissed. Sorry.

15.06.2011 was pretty awesome, i guess?

2011-06-16T02:59:00.002+08:00

So yesterday did spend my time with my family at serasa beach. It was fun, the awesome part is football time hehehe. I LOOOOVEEE PLAYING FOOTBALL!! Since im always busy with books i dont get that much time playing. I have only weekends ( atu pun sometimes ) n the holidays! But the killin part is my right leg got injured like freakin baddd!!! I blame my sister for that for having a strong leg bones gila bah macam tertandang basi!!! kekeke!! well anyhoo, biar tia saaakit janji beluriihhh hehehe. :p Ok enough that, im freakin like pissed to continue..

Feeling like wanted to express something here.

Its freakin sucks that i have a boring relationship! Like seriously, im freakin bored! Not that kinda bored eh, what i meant is something else. Theres been many lacks in my relationship. Lack of love, Lack of attention, Lack of commitment, Lack of honesty n blaBlaaa. Is this happens when we have a long-termm relationship?? Tapi orang lain ku liat ok2 sajaaa. I just missed to be untrusted, banaar seriously i ammm!!! Bcos if he dont trust me then i get to have a lot of attention! Ani apa boring mcm inda kana ingau rasa ku! Argh how i missed the times duluuu! Sometimes i just felt like....hm....malas kn cakap!! If this how it goes ah aaaiii bulih gila ku!! I've already told this told that tapi apaaa?!! what did i get?!! Terus terang ku dah bah maaaasih jua inda ku faham lagi bah bahasa melayu dah tu ah ku pakai ah, bahasa remix kali bah baru tah fahaam!! It sucks faking that everything's okay when it is not okay! ANTAAAH EEHH. Mcm cakap pun inda guna bah yatah cakap sendiri ja mcm org gila! I dont know what to expect, what to do n what to hope for anymoreee. I FREAKING DONT KNOWWWW!!!

Heading to bed~~zzzzzzzz!!!!!!

I just realised...

2011-06-14T01:18:00.002+08:00

Today was just okay. Did go somewhere to relax my mind infact im goin again maybe tmrow. Being alone n feeling like ur single kinda bothers me much. Used to be there but then gone, its like ur losin ur mind. Im feeling really empty n so boring being alone. It made me so desperate to do something that im not supposed to do. Its never easy for me being alone, theres just something that will pops out in my mind. Something that will hurt me n hurt him. Damn, im like talking crap rightnow.

Alright lets go with the topic,

So I just realised what I did with my sibs were pretty outta line. I feel bad rightnow. I know what we did were very wrong! We shouldnt act n talk like that, its way outta line. It made me realised how we have to be patient whenever we're mad even how ego selfish the person is. Now aku felt really berdosa, I should had control my anger n keep my damn mouth shut!

" Ya Allah, ampuni lah dosa hamba mu ini. Dan ampuni lah segala dosa ibu bapa ku. "

I felt like crying right nowwww cant even type more. SAD!!!!

missed blooooging

2011-06-09T13:46:00.002+08:00

wwoooohhh its been so longgg since i my last update. lots of things had happened plus im studying. yea im taking o's agaaain! dont wanna talk about classes stress ku! studying is no fun u'know!! ok whatevaaa...so its holiday n all of us ( my family n i ) sleptover at grand's place since my grandma, aunties n uncle r going for umraaah. so two weeks here suuuuunyyyyyyiii!!! probably i'll be alone since on this 12th he's also goin awaaaayyyyy!! im like what am i gonna do??? well~~ lots of freakin things on my mind though hehehe shhhh!!! dont wanna talk about shitsss. just go on with the flowwww~~

hmmmmm im like speechless rightnowwww....thinking to go but feeling like typing moreeeee~~~ haiyaaaa whatsup with meeeee. hm i guess imm goinnn will update more if i feel like tooooooo~~~:) i just wanna do an update since i missed blogging alot!!!

Title: A Nice Talk.

2011-01-08T23:43:00.001+08:00

hm,

so today didnt turn out very well. i have this fight with him since yesterday but alhamdulillah we settled it just now..it feels good after sat n talked. but the best part is, eye to eye..its been such a long time since we have a talk like that. it was nice <3

for me 'a talk' is so important for my relationship. apalagi if ada problem..it is so nice sitting n had a talk about it. sama2 tukar pandangan, sama2 menyalasaikan. n i love that..is like the best way to settle problems. it was nice to hear cakap masing2..if 'a talk' like tadi remains, i know this relationship will stay longer peacefully <3 cos im sick kan bauri saja n kusut sja tiap hari..utak pun inda sehat d buatnya. asyik banyak pkir sja..hampir gila jua olehnya. hm..i dont wanna hope anything for now.

just wait n see..~ " kalau diri ngulah urg bsai2, urg pun akn mengulah diri bsai2. kalau diri hormat org, org pun hormat diri. "

Title: Diam membisu adalah lebih baik.

2011-01-03T13:41:00.002+08:00

Salam,

i feel like sharing something here..there is no one in this world will really listen and appericiate what comes out from my mouth and this is why i created this blog from the very start..bcos only here i can express everything.

so from the title, now some people said "lebih baik trus trang dripada simpan sendiri, lebih baik d keluarkan dripada d simpan"..i dont fine it so "lebih baik". cos ive been doing it for years and its useless! d luah kan sama saja cetanya..puas pakah aqu ani sudah membuat cmatu..so i chose "lebih baik diam membisu dripada berkata apa2". walaupun sakit rasanya menyimpan tapi lebih sakit rasanya meluahkan yang nda mdtangkn hasil! tuhan saja tau apa yg ada dlm isi hati qu ani :'(

i only can fake things to cover everything..for once in my life aqu ingin sangat merasa "kana hargai"..maybe i dont desserve to be happy..happy pun sekajap saja :'( hm, lau ikutkn hati mls qu mkirkn but i cant its hard..i just want a better life..thats all.....

Title: Feeling Sick.

2010-12-30T15:38:00.003+08:00

Salam,

its been two days ive been feeling very sick. this sore throat is so killin me! and its been two nights i didnt sleep well! inda aman rasa qu :( panas dalam wah, it sucks!

hm..i feel like talking about someone..i label her as "indun"..im not mean, is just that when i dont like that someone like too much..i'll be calling them names! seriously girl, you have to stop making people hate you! annoying wah, tau ia ah org banci d buat lagi banci! mcm sengaja bah! if you read this bisai ni..mustahil qo inda tau org banci qo! and for your info, EVERYONE hates you! you with your attitude! umur setangah jagung baru tapi berlagak matang! i mean seriously nada kan di banggakan tu ulah mu catu ah, mcm inda dpt jumpa sekajap kan mati rasanya! ia ada hidup sendiri jua wah inda kan qo ganya kn di pikirkan! jangantah qo iski bf dpt tido rumah apa, mcm "org" atu cakap INDA MEMBAGI KAYAAAA! kekeke..aqu wah teringin sangat kan cakap dapan mu empat mata tapi mikir kan perasaan urg wah! mun aqu ani penyampai hati urg nya, ADA KAN QO DGR LUAHAN QU ANI TERHADAP MU!! KEKEKE. no words can describe how much i hate you :) semua org pandang qo bini2 inda baik, inda tah qo malu tew? tu pasal ulah mu atu tah membari nya org pandang qo cematu! KELANJIAN KEGATALAN BAH QO AH! meliat your face pun inda qu ingin...im done talking..nauzubillah...

and yeah for that someone jua...bila mau wakeup??? do you even realised you made a huge mistake?? he is not worth anything than your own family..for now maybe your happy, but nanti you'll know how he act behind your back..org kesian meliat qo, qo bangga2 kan ia tapi org tahu ulahnya..terkenal xah dgn " tae palat, temeng, setae, berani beramai and pengecut!"...and qo pikir kurang ajar arah org tuha atu perasan mu gagah kah?? gagah apanya! nada org memuji ulah mu cematu ah! inda kan mau org tahu masalah ani tapi diri membuat org curiga! tanpa org gitahu pun drg tahu jua nanti tew mun ulah mu cematu ah! kenapa lari kalau memang qamu banar??? KENAPA? manasajtaaahhh....yg rugi bukan org tapi diri sendiri....

what a year ive been through...2011 is coming soon....just hope it'll be a better year..too much drama this year 2010...until then...HAPPY NEW YEAAARRR!

Title: Hello.

2010-12-26T02:36:00.003+08:00

waaaah....its been so long since i last posted...hm..theres much been goin on lau kan d type sini mungkin esok lusa pun inda habis hehehe...i miss my blog somuch :(

so another just few days bye2 2010!! its been a journey for me...for this year theres just somuch goin on...trouble everywhere, drama everywhere...fuh...im tired. just hope this coming 2011 will be a better year for me n everyone :) ive planned to continue my study nextyear, ive been thinkin about it alot..i wanna make some changes in my life, i wanna make my life so busy, i just wanna make this life worth living..just hope this heart remains open until nextyear :p long story short, i just want a better future :)

i dont wanna talk about the dramas...menyakitkan hati! about feelings?? hm...not here, let it be posted in my diary :p hm so i think this is it for now....next week will be a busy week for me...i just hope it is a better week....alright, ciaooooo!

ajhs <3 nhh.
msdk :(

Hm...hiduppp~hiduuup.

2010-10-24T10:21:00.003+08:00

Salam.

Its been awhile since i last posted something here. Well..since i was away theres been somuch things thats been going on with my freaking life. I dont know what to say..Just...Buat atu salah,buat ani pun salah..mcm nothing yang lurus=( Even i tried to fix it it'll end the same. I get hurt. Entah lah apa lah nak jadi..And lately ive been feeling very unwell=( Its makin me nuts. My head is hurting me and my whole body is feeling very uncomfortable. Everything hurts..I never feel this sakit before. Its just different..I tried telling them but no one gets me jadi bahan paibunan plaang=( I hope theres nothing serious goin on with my health. Allah ganya tau cana rasa diri ani=')

Hm..theres alot but im just not in the mood to talk about it. Untilthen...
p/s: im thinking of deleting this blog but theres just somuch memories i post here, i dont know if im gonna continue blogging or not....still thinkingggg....

Title: Ada uang indu blog ku kekeke:p

2010-07-18T23:36:00.004+08:00

Hm..Its been two weeks i havent update anything! Its just somuch that happen for this past weeks and i cant possibly tell it here cos theres just somuch! Besides kang panjang karangan I hehehe. SSo yea last week I went to KK with My Baby, My beloved brother, My sister and My two aunties:) It was fun, as always I SHOP TIL I DROP! Only just one day i managed to finish all of my money, well i cant denied it anymore i am a shopaholic:) But still shopping banyak2 pun masih not enough masih ada yang alum kesampaian hehehe. Ok i dont want to talk much about it just overall it was fun! And oh yeah aku pro bowling udah:p Mun ada yang sasak diam ja! Hehehe.

Bah ok move on...Hm what else?Oh yeah i've been using the Garnier Body Lotion and OMG I LOVE IT! Well i dont know if it really did whiten my skin but the only effect that i can see is that it smooths my skin and it is a really cool lotion even youre in a hot place you can still feel the coolness of it on our body. Boh mcm mempromote ada jua aku ani:p Tapi banaar i dont lie if you no believe you try hehehe. I just got obssesed about beauty nowadays! Infact for my skin face product i want to tukar product lagi, its been 4 or 5 product dah ku kajakan ani mau cuba lain lagi hehehe antam zirah antaaammmm!

Bah i think thats it for today, ani pun update sal ada uang indu:p Awu betipun baru betipun baru jua jgn lupa uang tersayangggggg! Hehehe.............

Title: This aint workin out.

2010-06-28T20:35:00.001+08:00

I feel like talking about my relationship rightnow, i dont know why but i just feel like it. So here goes nothinnnn~We've been talkin like how many times now about what i like and what i hate and it seems none of the words that came from my mouth went to his head!Seriously, i just cannot stand this.How many times do i have to mentioned it?!!Apa nunggu ku inda dpt bckp brutah merati?!!And you never freaking care about what you did but when it comes to me mcm bae!!Ngalih saja ku bckp balik2 but NOTHINGS CHANGE!!!Apakan?What do you expect me to do???I did everything i could to be that good girlfriend you ever wanted, I DID!I told you from the beginning if you cant handle me or US you know what to do, you can simply leave me or whatever.

Ya i know im sencitive, kuat marah, kuat nyamal so jgn lah ku di buat marah!You really dont get me do you?I dont think so..Why is it so hard for you to understand this whole thing?!How many million freaking times i have to say?!!Times had wasted but i thought its worth but turns out it wasnt worth at all..You never did done anything to heal this relationship, is like your lost or something! To be honest, i dont know how to deal with you anymore..You cant handle me that well either..You took things so lightly even its a big deal, is like none of the problems we've been through is important to you is like something that doesnt matter at all!And you barely want to talk about it, you rather change the subjects than talking about it.This kind of relationship is not the kind that im wanting for, i wanted something that makes the relationship grow stronger and importantly a honest relationship.Why bother being with me when all you do is nothing to heal this relationship!I tried to get rid of the past from my head, I tried to control my anger and I tried to make this relationship work!But what do you do?Tell me, WHAT?!!!Sometimes i feel like US is a mistake.

I thought things will work out easily but it doesnt..You yelled at me so many freaking times, tebuat ia bkasar bulih tebuat urang mcm bae!Yelling is not the good thing to do when youre trying to settle a problem, having convo about it will be nice dont you think?Well, i think so..You will probably be mad im talkin it out here but hell i aint care!You never want to talk about things like this with me you rather talk about something else than talking about us!Dont you even denied it, oops thats right you always denied everything that you do!Cos thats just you!But then when it comes to me blablabla mcm bae!!Bah eh i think thats just it..Theres just so many things to say but ONLY this i can say..Hm, salam~And guess what nothings comes from your mind whats the date for today! BAHAGIA KU CANI ANI, BAHAGIA TAEEEE!

Title: Macam2 saja...

2010-06-23T11:25:00.004+08:00

Morning..

So i just got back from Tasek Lama, turns out jogging is my everyday routine from now on..And im absolutely tired, its hot!! So this past few weeks nothing much..Went to miri last weekend with My baby and the whole family..Yea as usual im with my needs, i shop until i drop! It was fun i guess:) Hm dont want to talk much about it, overall it was okay:)

And guess what?Im gaining weight!Im like WTH?!!Buncit hantap sudah sang parut ani no good:( So im on my diet hehehe Taeeee~And i have digestion problem hehehe if you know what i mean..And it is so annoying i had to handle stomache everyday, selagi belum keluar selagi atu tah sakit parut ani!Kepisan nyantaaaaaaaa~Kang mkn salah kang inda makan salah tah juaaa infact now i feel like poooping ergh:S Biar tia eh save it for later hahaha..

Oh yea i had a really bad and scary dream lastnight..Inda heran macam tiap hari ja nightmare...But lastnight was so kesian:( It was like i dont know its really hard for me to cerita here..I was holding it and when i turn it around thats when the kesian part starts..I wokeup with tears, kesian berabis:'( Hm dont want to talk about it nanti ka utak tujunyaaa! Ok im goin nowww....

<-Fool me once shame on you, Fool me twice shame on me->

Title: Cant wait.

2010-06-10T13:01:00.003+08:00

Holla:)

So as usual i've been busy..I dont have time to blog that often cos im so busy with the houseworks! I only have time for facebook hehehe:p So anw, its june inda lama lagi august hehehe:) Puasa is coming soon and so is...our birthday! Hehehe cant wait for puasa and cant wait to turn 19th..Next year 20th tia kami hehehe:) I am so excited for puasa cos....lapas puasa hari raya wah thats why aku excited hehehe:p I just cant wait to see how my baju's turns out..Dui behantar pun alum ah:( Hm:(

Oh yea..Mom had suggest me to take driving class AGAIN! She asked me to take my driving license along with my brother when he turn 18th this august..Well, i dont know i dont feel like it but sometimes i feel it..Apakan~Macam BEE! Hehehe..Besides its not easy as it seems i mean the driving exam the written exam is okay well since i passed hehehe the driving exam that im worried about, ngada2 bah ada2 saja! And i heard many people faailed cos of the driving test! And its not easy to find a tutor for me, i dont want to end up like the one time i quit becos of that stupid tutor! I feel like kicking his freaking head BANAAARRR~ How will i learn if he keeps pissing me offf??? TALO! Ok menjadi kang mental ani hehehe..

And im gonna have my SPA written test this sunday..Awal bah nyanta startnya paksa jua awal ku bangun tu:( Hm ok im gonna go now:)

Title: Im out of the bound.

2010-06-03T21:10:00.003+08:00

Let me say somethin here.....

LOVE = LIES

There is no point saying to someone that you love them and just dont mean it. AND MOST OF ALL YOU SHOULDNT LIE TO THEM!!!

Well I DONT GIVE A SHIT LET ME MAKE IT CLEAR I DONT GIVE A DAMN TO THOSE PEOPLE WHO LIE TO ME AND BETTER ALL JUST FUCK OFF!! OTHERWISE I MAY SPITTING RIGHT TO YOUR FACE ASSHOLE!! I MAY BE EASY AS YOU THINK BUT TRUST ME IM NOT THAT STUPID!! I'LL SHOW YOU HOW I ROLL!! IM BETTER OFF ON MY OWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Title: So not in the mood.

2010-06-01T17:43:00.003+08:00

Well, hello!

Hm..I really REALLY dont know what to talk about but still i feel like blogging. So last weekend I went to Miri with My aunties, uncles, Lil cousins, My sibs and Him. Im not in the mood to talk about it but yea it was fun. I really really want to skip that I really really dont want to talk about it cos theres that someone in it so lets just move on with something else ok!

So i had a really weird dream lastnight. Its not just weird but TOTALLY PISSED ME OFF! Thats why i wokeup very moody today. Seriously, I HATE THAT DREAM! I feel like it was a sign and the worst part is that I believe it. So guess what i did?? Im trying to let things go, Im trying to forget everything and Im trying to forget people that was in my dream. Letting myself to be hurt was just not me. So before i get crush and hurt i better do something about it. I know sometimes dream is just a dream but to me it wasnt just a dream its something that I believe in and something I must do something about it. I know I sounded really weird and yeah I know Im a FREAK! Thats just the way I am. A girl that people will love to runaway from. Ok whatever Im done. Oh i really love to blog about the convo I had with my Brother and Grandma in the car today but frankly its not the right time I AM SOOOOOO PISSED LIKE HELL!

Title: Asshole everywhere!

2010-05-22T01:50:00.003+08:00

First of all before i mention anything here i would like to say I'VE BEEN WORKIN A LOT LATELY!! YEAH FOR ME! HEHEHE. IT IS REALLY A BIG STARTS FOR ME :) Well not that big though hehehe.

Ok so anw, wondering why this title post sounds mean??? Well let me tell you why ok! As you can see i wrote " Asshole Everywhere ".... Let me make this clear ok! My life surrounds with many type of asshole! You just named it, their everywhere!! Im very sick to tha max!! Im tired facing them like EVERYDAYYYY!! You dont know how sucks my life is when these type of people came to my life, ITS ANNOYINGGGGG! I have my limits yaknow, i feel i want to crush them so badly! I dont know what their trying to show but all i know is their are getting on my nerves! Not only me, but everyoneee!! But their too stupid to notice that. Gosh i wonder what's in their brain?? And yeah whats the point kan bangga beperangai inda baik ah?? Apakan?? She's like bangga labelling herself as " TROK! ". Atu baru ya BRAINLESS :) Yaknow sometimes i wonder if she could take any comment from anyone so that i could talk to her straight to her face and she will like listen to me for once in her whole life! CAKAP SAJA BASAR, NGADA2 SAJA KAN BEGAYA BANYAK, NGAKUN SAJA DIRI ATU MANTANG SUDAH TAPI UTAK KUSUNG!!! And yeah it is really pointless for me too let it all out here but it made me feel good a lil bit.

Ok im done. Will be posting more if i had my mood.

Title: Should i make a new chapter?

2010-05-13T00:10:00.002+08:00

But the question is.... Can i control my anger??? Can i let the negatives vibe go away???? Can i control my emotional???? Can i trust????????? Hm........ Theres just no answer for these questions for nowwwwwwww.......... Just hoping i'll think and do something about it.......

Title: My goodness when will they stop.

2010-05-03T23:12:00.003+08:00

So i didnt update anything lastnight after i reached home, i was so not in the mood :( But anyways im still at rimba, just dont know when i'll get back to muara. Anyways, hm theres nothing interesting though and ergh im still not in the mood to change this blog. Its been like almost 3days i've been so complicated and im still trying to get used to it :) And i still dont want to talk about it. Hm oh yeah "they" are starting to get on my nerves! Gosh!!! What just happened today was so.....dumb!!! Kelaparan attention wahhhhh, ITS ANNOYING FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! Sanak bah sanak!!! Im tired seeing shits everyday, thanks to them assholes! Oh to whom it may concern adangtah dih menunjuk kan perangai inda baik ah, inda payah di banggakan. Banggatah tah kamu tu beperangai gilabae ahhh?!! PUI! Apakan? What's your purpose anyway? To me it seems you mau seek attention, mau tunjuk cool but the truth is your just TAE PALAT! Im not trying to judge kamu but buka bah mata ah sadar sikit mana kan sopan santun atu?? Brg inda baik plg kan di banggakan.

And im not trying to say that aku baik. Nada baik aku ani, aku ngakun eh aku inda baik. Aku ngakun aku pun pernah bah beulah gilabae catu tapi atu dulu. And i learn from my mistakes. Aku sadar bah umur ku meningkat and i know what i did in the past atu salah dari sanatah i learn from not doing it lagi. Ok lah aku paham lah kamu masih utak kanak2, luwan2 kanak2 and you think that ada kewajipan hidup sendiri sudah lah you can do whatever you want lah but sure kah?? Keep asking that question to yourself. Umur masih muda wah why watse time doing those "uncool" habit. YUP ITS UNCOOL NOT COOL! Bah i dont want to blab much here krg kana ucap mcm si banar lah mihir lah apalah well you know what i dont care bukan nya im spitting bad influence pun :) Ok then im going now~

Oh btw, THANKS TO MAKTEH TERCINTA FOR........HEHEHEHEHE! Bah salammmmmm.

Title: Love my lttles.

2010-05-02T11:53:00.002+08:00

So probably i wont be going home to muara today. Maybe tomorrow or lusa, i dont know yet. I just had to settle something here. I just got to. Especially that damn freaking species! She keeps making trouble everywhere! Hm im going now, will update later after i reached home. Oh yeah im gonna be broke after this, not cool! :(

Title: KURANG AJAR BAE ATU!

2010-05-01T21:59:00.002+08:00

Astah mau ia kali merasa buku lima ku ani! Sanak ku sanak udah pun masalah betimbun ia lagi menambah bae atu!!!!!!! Mati eh stress ku banar cani ani!!!!! Jangantah kau balik lagi ku suka!! Mun peradian dangan mu catu nada papa bae ani indung wah buduh!!! Yatah tu ikut saja tia perangai pelacur sorang atu!!! Apa bangga kau?!!! Bae rasakan inda mau ngakun wah kau atu apa ku!!! Mana utak atu kan bae?!!!! Mikin steady eh KEKURANG AJAR MU AH BAE YATAH MAU JUA KU MENCUBA KEKURANG AJAR MU AH SAMA AKU!!! IA INGAT AKU DIAM2 ATU INDA KALI MIKIRKAN KEDIA, SIANG MALAM IA SAJA BAH KAN DI PIKIRKAN!!! SUDAH PUN MASALAH LAIN KAN KU PIKIRKAN KEDIA ANI MENYAMAK TAYA LAGI DLM UTAK KU ANI!!!! Perasahan dewasa sudah!! Aweh aku mengaku eh aku ani inda jua seberapa mantang atleast aku inda berlagak macam kau!! Anu berlagak mantang tau kan semuanya!! Bae usulmu!! Awu mun tekeluar tadi air mata mama ku atu habis kau malam ani jua ku basuh kau ah bae!!!! Mikin inda di bagi muha kau ani mikin kurang ajar SUKA KU KAU AH BAE!!!!!!!! Nauzubillah.

Title: Status, its complicated.

2010-05-01T17:45:00.003+08:00

Im complicated and I dont want to talk about it. So i've been stressing out lately. It been months i realised that it began to get worst. For now belum teruk tapi mikin teruk dari sebelum nya. I dont know if this is normal or sebalik nya, hope it is just something normal :( I dont wanna say which part of my health is troubling me but i can only tell you that it hurts so bad :( Every morning i have to wake up in pain. I dont know what cause it and im giving it another 4months for it. If it becomes worst then i'll force myself to check up. First it was just the left one but now both of it really hurts. But the right one jarang, yang left one yang selalu :( Im just afraid that...hm i better not say it. Nauzubillah. I just dont know to who that i should talk to about this, no one believes me anyway so why bother. And im being such an idiot posting about it right here. I AM an idiot :) Hm i dont know what else to talk about so i guess im going off now. To whom it may concern, may allah bless you and enjoy your life that you've been dreaming of. Seems by the way i said things and you agreed it so well, you dont need me anymore and you never were so goodluck with your life and do what makes you happy.

P/s: Will be changing this blog soon. I dont have the mood to change it yet.

Ttile: Piggy much!

2010-04-30T12:53:00.002+08:00

Nice work asshole!!! You ruin everything and i had enough of your stupid ass attitude!! WE ARE SO OVER ASSHOLE!!! Atu kau punya pasal yang penting aku inda mau lagi ada kena mengena dengan hidup mu MERATI KAU BAE?!!!! Mun kan nyalah kan aku OKAY AKU TAH SALAH MANASAJTAH KAU BAH YANG PENTING AKU INDA LAGI MAU ADA KENA MENGENA DENGAN HIDUP MU!! Muak ku dengan perangai GILABAE MU AHHH!!! Sesial sial nya aku lagi sial kau wahhhhhhh BUDUHHHHHHHHHHH!!! SO FUCK OFF FROM MY LIFE BEAST!!!! Nikmati taya kehidupan mu yang kau idam kan selama ani ah! Bekawan tah kau seramai bini2 yang kau mau, kau luwan miang atu jua. PERASAN PLAYERRRR MACAM BAE COOL TAH PERASAN NYA TU BANYAK KAWN BINI2 AHHHHH BAE WANG2......................... SO LONG SUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Title: SHITTTT!!

2010-04-27T15:41:00.004+08:00

Tonight i'll be sleeping at rimba due to interview esok pagi! MATI lastminute kana gitahu ah! Di belait lagi tu kenapa inda temburong!!! Pagi lagi tu eh kenapa inda malammmm!!!!!! Mati eh blank taus utak kuuuuu!!!!!!!!!! Bah im going nowwwwwww~ Singleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Oh and Al-Fatihah to old friend of mine :'( Inda di sangka, semoga saja rohnya di tempatkan dgn orang2 yang beriman amin :')

Title: For You Dear Asshole.

2010-04-20T12:53:00.003+08:00

FUCK OFF! I DONT CARE AND I DONT GIVE A DAMN! WHATEVER IM TIRED OF BEING SORRY YOU ASSHOLE FREAK! I AINT YOUR HOE AND I AINT YOUR BITCH SHIT ASS! EAT YOUR SHIT! WHAT? MAD AT ME NOW? WHATEVER I DONT GIVE A DAMN! KAN MARAH MARAH PULANGGGG EMANG GUE PIKIRINNNNNNN!! I HATE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU HATE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! AKU CANI PASAL KAU SO JANGAN SETAIE KAN MARAH2 KAU SANA ATU!! AND CAKAP AKU INDA PAHAM? MEMANG KU INDA PAHAM KAN KAU AH!!!!!!! GO DIE EH! SASAK KU UDAHHHHH!!!

2010-04-16T22:37:00.002+08:00

Huh Just arrived rimba and just heard Doa Selamat this sunday how i miss them (': P/S: I HATE YOU! THANKS ALOT!

Title: Walking Away.

2010-04-16T15:56:00.004+08:00

OKAY IM DONE! SERIOUSLY IM DONE WITH YOU! I REALLY CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE, THIS TIME I MEAN IT! FOR ME YOU'RE GONE. I HAD BEEN REALLY PATIENT AND I HAD ENOUGH! YOU'RE OUT OF MY LIFE! I DONT NEED ANY EXPLANATION OR WHATSOEVER IM SICK OF YOU TREATING ME LIKE AN ASSHOLE BITCH! DONT EVEN BOTHER TOO SEE ME ANYMORE COS I DONT WANT TO SEE YOUR DAMN FACE ANYMORE! YOU MADE ME REALLY PISSED AND MADE ME WANT TO GET RID OF YOU FROM MY LIFE DESPERATELY! I DONT NEED A SUCKER LIKE YOU! AWU AKU INDA PAHAM LAH APA LAH AWU MANASAJATAH EH MALASKU KAN INGAU LAGI AND I DONT GIVE A DAMN! SANAK KU SANAK PAHAM! JANGAN KU DI JUMPAI LAGI INDA KU HINGIN KAN MELIAT MUHA MU AH LAGI BANCI KU! JGNTAH DI KANANG APA2 LAGI, KAU NI YANG BUAT AKU CANI SOWHAT! CUKUP SABAR KU DAH. BAH MALAS KU CAKAP BANYAK CLEAR SEMUA SUDAH!

I'll be sleeping rimba tonight cos had to go somewhere tomorrow morning. Just for tonight saja then esuk habis nyalasaikan itu ini balik semula muara lah. Im gonna change my blog sooner, i want to start a new life. I'll change the layouts and everything. SANAK KU DAH IM GONNA CHANGE EVERYTHING MOST IMPORTANTLY MY LIFE AND MYSELF! IM SICK OF BEING NURUL HAZIRAH! IM IN A MAD SITUATION RIGHTNOW! REALLY MADE INFACT IM GOIN INSANE RIGHTNOW! I DONT NEED A SUCKER IN MY LIFE. GO TO HELL!

Title: Im feeling lonely.

2010-04-14T18:00:00.000+08:00

Gosh im getting lonely each and everyday. Theres no one that i can hang out with. Both of my brothers were always busy with dota and tibia and me? NOTHING, LONELYYYY ): Im feeling very the very empty lately. Im going nuts with this situation, really i mean it i am goin nuts. Everyone is busy with their lives unlike me theres nothing special in my life. Im just a lonely girl who doesnt have anyone to count on to. And im dreaming weird things lately S: I always wokeup up with sad on my face thats why i hate to sleep. Those stupid dreams made me trauma ):

I just wish my life wasnt like what it is rightnow. This feelings made me insane! I hope all this shits that im going through will go away. Sometimes i felt i dont belong here. Sometimes i felt i wanna dump everyone. Sometimes i felt i wanna live alone. No one understands and their never will understand infact they'll blame me for everything! Im sick and tired to be blame. How i wish they know how i feel, how hurt i am inside..Thats impossible cos no one seems to care! Life is really a bitch! And i hate it! How i wish i could be someone else! I dont want to be Nurul Hazirah anymore it sucks to be Nurul Hazirah ): I would love to kill myself rightnow. Yea im talking crap rightnow but i mean it i just wish i can kill myself rightnow!!! OFF.

Again and again and AGAINNN!!!

2010-04-12T13:35:00.002+08:00

SHOOT THIS IS SO SHITTY. TODAY IS SHITTY AND TOMORROW WILL BE SHITTY AND TOMORROW NYA LAGI AND HARI2 SETERUSNYA WILL BE A SHITTY DAY FOR ME!!! IM PISSED RIGHTNOW AND FEELS LIKE MY HEAD WANT TO EXPLODE! FUCK OFF!! WHATEVER SUKATI MU LAH MANASAJATAH KAU EH MATI BURING KU SUDAH! ERGH AKU AH PALING BANCI MANUSIA YANG INDA PAHAM AKU. SETAE CAKAP PAHAM PADAHAL INDA ENTAH KAU EH! AKU MENTAL NI SO WHAT! BAH EH MATI NI CANI AH SIAL BUDUH CILAKA BAE KAN MATI PALUI!!!!!! EMBAHHHH!!!!!!

Title: Bored to the maximum!

2010-04-08T19:41:00.004+08:00

I just wokeup and currently BORING! Nothing to do and the worse part is I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK WITH. Okay its not the first time its like everyday and im so sick of it, IM GETTING BORED. Do you really know how it feels when you really need that someone to cheer you up at the time like this but that someone NEVER BEEN THERE FOR YOU? I DO! It HURTS LIKE SHIT! Look im not trying to complaint or anything and im not saying because i hate it, but im so jealous seeing everyone that had someone to talk with like 24hours! UNLIKE ME, my nights was always SHITTY!

THATS WHY I HATE TO RECHARGE MY CREDIT!!! Sama saja dih macam inda bekredit. TAEEE. I feel so leftout and everything. Okay we met like 5 or 6 days a week atu pun sekajap lainlah dulu sama pulang 5-6days a week tapi batah atu paham jua ku sikit siang malam bejumpa. BUT NOWADAYS?! Sudah pun lunch sama aku saja sekali malam nya macam bae lagi ia entah behapakah ia malam2 cani ani sampai inda temessage aku KIMA BAH KIMA! IM UPSAD YOU KNOW, AWU LIAT URANG LAIN ATU BISAI WAH BANCI KU!! Its just a waste of time to talk to him about this, HE NEVER CARES AND HE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND! Instead HE'LL BLAME ME! YOU KNOW WHAT HE NEVER CARES A BIT ABOUT ME! I dont know why even i blab about this here, i just dont know who should i talk with. Im just so upsad wah AWU MACAM SI BANAR NYURUH URANG MERECHARGE SEKALI SUDAH DI RECHARGE MACAM BAE MACAM BUDUH SIAL OLEHNYA! BANCIKU BANCI! Luwan brainless wah, BUAT APA TAH KU MERECHARGE TU!!! BUDUH!

Whatever im done. Malas kan cakap banyak, CAKAP BANYAK AND SIKIT SAMA SAJA CERITANYA! I admit for now im in a boring relationship situation and im not happy with it! All i can do is just faking that im okay infront of everyone and him. DHAAA MACAM IA REALISED PUN AKU INDA OKAY, NADA MASANYA KALIAH KAN INGAU AKU! Di message pun bukannya ku kana layan. AWU BAIK LAGI URANG SINGLE PAKAH DARIPADA HIDUP BEPASANGAN MACAM AKU ANI BAIK LAGI DURANG PAKAH! BAH EH MACAM BAE BAUTA JA KU MARAH2 SINI ANI SIAPA JUA PEDULI PUIIIIIIIII!

Title: Al-Fatihah.

2010-04-06T17:59:00.003+08:00

Nini Ali passed away today ( Al-Fatihah ). And all of us went to kapok in the morning. Thank god i slept early and did wokeup early jua. Reached home at 12+pm. Tomorrow My grands and Aunties will go for their umrah for like 2 and a half weeks. SUNYI. Hm speechless, NOT IN THE MOOD. Just a random update. My Body hurts so bad )': I dont know why, it feels so heavy wah bari menangis wah bukan lagi bari, menagis dah wah olehnya sakit wah )': STUPID!

Title: What a nice person.

2010-04-01T21:58:00.002+08:00

Hello. So i open my facebook yesterday since lama dah ku inda buka. I got this friend request from a girl. At first, i dont know her but thennnn...

The conversation:

Me : Hello. Thanks for the friend request. Always takecare...

Her : my pleasure.. hm, i know you HAHA. apakannn..

Me : You know me? For real? Hm.. You dont look familiar to me BTW love how you do your makeup. Prettay! Hehe. Oh thanks again hehehehehe

Her : i know. we're cousin. tapi jarang bejumpa. HAHA, apakannn.masa damit saja ku biasa sama kau ani,masa dimuara.thank you darling ♥ kau stay cute and badanmu damit masih ayy hehe

Me : Oh yes now i remembered. Ei you look different maaa hehe. I remembered pun si hikmal gitahu and i was totally surprised hehe. Youre welcome (: Inda jua ulah keturunan hehehehe cute mau tau maaaa hahahha q: Woops got to go you takecare girl talk to you soon hehe Bye!

I am very surprised cos she still remembered me while i barely cant remember her ): Im such a baddass person! I cant even remember a single bit time with her. But i still ingat her face, she changed alot! But...something made me very down. When i look through her pictures theres....Hm i just hate to say who, it made me very down S: Rupanya durang rapat hm ): Whatever. Im so deeply mad to myself, why do i even bother anyway!

OFF.

Title: Sick and Tired.

2010-03-31T21:25:00.002+08:00

A little late for all the things you didn´t say . I'm not sad for you. But I´m sad for all the time I had to waist. Cause I learned the truth. Your heart is in a place I no longer wanna be. I knew there´d come a day that said you free cause I´m sick and tired of always beein' sick and tired. Your love isn´t fair. You live in a world where you didn´t listen and you didn´t care. So I´m floating, I´m floating on air..

Im getting sick and tired of everything.

Title: Aku begini kerana mu.

2010-03-27T02:41:00.002+08:00

Aku mulai tak percaya pada cinta. Semuanya hanya menilai dari harta. Manis mulut mu membuat aku melayang. Seolah aku lah orang yang terindah. Aku di tipu lagi di tipu lagi aku di bodohi ku di tipu lagi di tipu lagi berkali kali. Ada kah orang yang mengerti cinta? Yang mengerti tentang perasaan ku? Aku di tipu lagi di tipu lagi aku di bodohi di tipu lagi di tipu lagi berkali kali.

Adilkah ini? Haruskah ini datang pada diriku? Bagai mana lagi harus ku lalui semua yang datang. Tolonglah aku bantulah aku untuk dapat bertahan lalui kenyataan ku tak percaya kau ucapkan semua.

Coba renungkan cobalah kau rasa ku petaruhkan semua hanya untuk cintamu. Walau ku hanya orang yang kau hina tak ku merasa lelah untuk mencintaimu. Kau bagai air terus mengalir tak dapat ku genggam tak mungkin terhadang. Hanya ku pendam rasa di hati hingga saat nanti kau pasti mengerti.

Air mata ku pergi menghantar kepergian mu sesungguhnya aku tak percaya engkau tinggal kan aku sendiri. Berakhir sudah cinta yang telah lama kita bina semuanya hanya tinggal cerita yang terukir indah di hatiku. Perasaan ini tak kan pernah mati walau sampai akhir nanti kau selalu di hati. Perasaan ini akan selalu ada meski kau telah tiada tunggu aku di syurga.

Title: Livin on my own.

2010-03-25T22:51:00.003+08:00

So.. My mind is thinking of ridiculous things like "im better off alone". Gosh, i felt so left out lately. I wont tell by who its just a waste of time. I dont feel complete anymore, theres a lot missing and no one notice it even that someone. Whatever im cool with everything rightnow. Aku sanak plus aku mau hidup "sendiri". I wanna learn livin on my own without anyone on my sides. Hope i manage to do that if not MERANA TAH KU DENGAN PERANGAI KU PENGINGAU ANI. I dont need anyone lagi, bila ku perlu pun manada ada jua yang datang and paham so BAIK KU HIDUP SORANG2 TANTU (:

Thanks anyway to those yg faking that they care about me especially you. If aku ani inda penting lagi, tunggu apa lagi? SHIT, Im talking crap rightnow WHAT THE HELL AKU STRESS ! Hidup ini membunuhku. GO DIE LAH ENTAH KAU NHH BUDUH (:

Title: She's lame.

2010-03-24T23:32:00.002+08:00

Today was no good. Like usual headache lagi and i wokeup very late like usual jua. So she's like starting new drama lagi. WTH does she want! Gian ia bah kan bekelahi ah BAE! Urg bckp bisai2 ia mental, dhaaa kunun gagar lah urg tu ah! MALU KU PLG OLEHNYA! PUI siapa kan gagar kau ah MIHIR! Boyfriend mu genya tu gagar kan kau ah yg tau ikut ckp mu ah, URG LAIN ALUMMM. Adangtah kau eh jadi MISS PERFECT sana ah, ANNOYING KU MELIAT. Apatah tu bejalan temeng melintas kami atu! Inda pyh dih di kedapan kan B**ps mu ah and inda jua kali pyh di tunggikan jubur mu ah, MIHIR KU MELIAT KAMAH BAH KAMAH! Mihir ku meliat apa tah tu nya! TAKUT KU EH, PUI ALUM! Satu lagi, rapati tia lagi ANTAM TAH KAU SANA AH BEGILATAH KAU BEGATAL MELANJI SANA SINI MACAM GILABAE!

Kau berakal kaliah TAHU KAN SEGALANYA! ENTAH KAU INDA BERAKAL ADA PLG! Inda payah bangga dih perangai mu catu ah ptutnya kau malu bukan nya bangga! Ani di asuh nya lagi KAN MATI! URG SEKELILING MU WAH YG MALU. Mentang2 kau kana ulah macam raja oleh boyfriend mu ingat urg lain kan ulah kan kau cematu. Jgn luwan kan meninggi hidung ani dih! Huh okay im like so pissed off, nada lain lah pasal siapa. Actually aku malu wah banarnya, its enough that she had problem with me ani with urg lain th lagi. MALUKU WAH ia beperangai catu ah. Ia inda plg malu eh KAMI BAH MALU.

Entah eh. Kan hope for her to change its like impossible becos she never learn from her mistakes infact menjadi ada plg. Okay imma go just want to let this anger and malu here. OFF.

Title: Dying.

2010-03-22T02:58:00.006+08:00

I really need a shoulder to cry on rightnow )': I wanna cry so hard rightnow. I just cant stand it. I felt i want to screw this damn brain and just die without peace! I know im talking crap rightnow i just cant take it. Theres a lot in my mind but mostly its all bout the samething )': I feel like killing myself now. It really hurts when no one around you doesnt get you at all and yes i said this too many times huh i need to let it out so what the hell! I've been very patient but still theres no change. I tried all of my best to be the better one but still no change. Im running out of ideas how to deal with this life.

It feels like im just wasting my damn time standing up all by myself alone with no one arounds me. I am so hurting myself rightnow but in a good way. I desperately need a shoulder to cry on, someone that i could talk to, someone that could calm me down, someone that can hear al of my problems, someone to wipe my damnn tears, someone that could calm me when i scream so hard, someone that can stop me from doing stupid things, someone that says " i love you please stop it ", someone that can cheer me up, someone that really cares and someone that can hold me when im down )':

Hm im out, im sad sad sad and SADDDDDDD!! )':

Title: Goodluck baby!

2010-03-15T01:01:00.005+08:00

Holla peeps! I cant sleep as usual, actually i was sleepy plg tadi but then something attracts me so inda lah jadi tidur but i really need to sleep nanti kena marah olehhhhhh..... SI BABE! Hehehe. Bah lets talk about today, shall we? So today was...okay, i guess. We did go out tadi but it wasnt that enjoyable for me, i didnt have that great time youknow. The weather was pretty HOT! Me no like! Im not gonna blog much today since im tired.

So i would like to wish my baby a goodluck for karang. Hope everything is goin well krg. Im wishin, hopin and prayin here babe! Im worried here ): I wish i could be there for you BANAARTAHHH! Nada lagi bekredit si awang ah, ingau jua si dayang ni ): I LOVE YOU!!

Youre the only one i ever want!

Title: This is exhausting.

2010-03-12T23:07:00.002+08:00

WHAT A SLEEPY DAY FOR ME TODAY! Can you imagine, lastnight i just slept for like a hour and then in the afternoon i just took 15minutes nap and then slept tadi di kerita for like 30minutes?GOSH IM PRETTY TIRED! After this i probably sleep tarus ni cuz tomorrow morning dengani beloved grandma cuci gigi, i dont want to wokeup with a big headache mcm tadi ):

So Hm actually i just got back from the stadium with my baby, my momdad and brosis meliat urg main futsal ah. MEMBARI MENTAL NYAMU EH MELIAT! And im so like FREAKING PISSED TADI!! BAE BAH BAE MUN DAPAT KU TAMPAR KAU ATU TIME ATU JUA BAKAL SAMA FAMILY BAH! ENTAH2 BELAKANG2 KU LAIN KALI EH BUKAN LAGI CEMATU KALI MANCING TARUS KALIEH SIAL! PANDAI LAGI MENJAWAB TU KAN MELURUSKAN DIRI NYA AH, SIFAT PALING KU BANCI ARAH MU ATU. TARANG2 SALAH TARANG KU MELIAT SENDIRI WAH SHIT! UDAH ATU KRG AKU JUA TU SALAHNYA MUAK KU SUDAH PERANGAI MU CAMATU AHH! BARU YA INDA SADAR DIRI NGUCAP URG!! PUI!! PIKIR AH APA RASANYA MUN AKU BUAT CEMATU?!!! JGN TALOR!

Whatever i am so freaking sick of his attitude yg " inda sadar diri " atu!! SANAK KU DAH. Salah2 wah apa yg ku buat arahnya. Cemana kan ia inda paham aku mun aku pun inda paham ia!! Ku tunjukkan sayang ku ani arahnya SALAH inda di tunjuk kan SALAH TAH JUA! Rasa kan malas wah banar2ri semua ani!!!! KAN MATI KU MIKIRKANNN! Bah OFF, moody ku tarus ):

Title: FO MORON!

2010-03-10T21:14:00.002+08:00

So this is how my day goes.. BORING!!!! I am super duper boring these days!! How i missed to go out. Its not that i couldnt, its just that.... Hm.. You know how relationship goess right? And yes im not okay yet! And guess what? SOMEONE JUST DONT REALISED IT! I am so flattered, NOT! Ok whatever dude you just go on with your flow and i'll go with mine, and we'll see who's gonna survive. If thats how its gonna be thats okay im cool with it. Just dont complaint if anything happens between us, you got that sugar? Im not being ego but i wont let man crush me down just like that. At times i maybe that weak kind of girl but not the whole time. I can be the meanest girl you'll ever know.

And tomorrow will be going to the hospital. Nothing interesting though. Okay im OFF!

Title: MSDK.

2010-03-09T01:26:00.003+08:00

I've been through a rough day today, it went like HELL! I OFF my phone, i dont know until when i dont feel like kan betipun masa ani. Sakit berabis hati ani )": Im crying mcm si paloi, i cried so hard dpan my bro inda lagi tahan it just come out all of the sudden. My bro was like " mengaapa kau menangis?" and i didnt give response just giling2 kepala and cried. Im too hurt, i just cant take it anymore. Im not saying im giving up it just that ENTAH EH payah kan explain cana sakit nya rasa hati ani. Didnt expect everything jadi cani. I know inda guna kan cry but sendiri nya keluar and it cames out so hard. Its like im losing something that means alot to me. I felt like cutting my damn veins and just die BANAAARTTAHHH! Im so stress out wah sakit bah sakit )': No one can feel what i felt rightnow, im dying wah dying!!!

I look like shit rightnow, i cry like a baby, my head hurts, my chest hurts everything HURTS WAHHH!! I cant do anything right buntu dah wah utak ani. Im too weak to get through this damn life. Its like i cant barely breathe nomore, im not faking this, this is DAMN SERIOUS! I dont even know where actually im standing rightnow, in my head " why am i here? ". Im so lost and trying to get out from this mess. Everything i do is not worth it lagi. Semuanya useless! Behapatah ku ada dlm dunia ani mun cani jadinya? See, im talking crap! This life is making me damn crazy! I thought tomorrow was gonna be alright but just day goes by it seems everyday is just a no-good day for me )': I really am dying inside, it felt like the world gonna end. ERGH, ANOTHER CRAP!!!

Every problem will be always on me! Seriously is that all you can do BLAMING ME FOR ALL YOUR STUPID SHIT?!! And you callin me EGO? OH LOOK WHO'S TALKIN NOW! I dont really know where we went wrong but all i know the BLAME IS ALWAYS ON ME! I just wish that one day i'll be over everything! Including you! Youre not really helping me to cure this pain, infact youre just giving it more pain! What am i really? AN ANIMAL? Everyone had feelings and that includes me! You just dont get it do you? YOU DONT GET ME AT ALL! You are really crushing me slowly. Are you happy now? Are you happy with the situation im going through rightnow? HAPPY?!!! Thanks a lot for the pressure you had given me. Before i talk crap again better OFF. ONLY MSDK, if you were here i know you will always be the one that can cheer me up rightnow MSDK!!! )':

Title: Im missing something.

2010-03-07T02:49:00.006+08:00

Holla! Hm its late i know, aku inda dpt tidur ): Aku teringat sesuatu which made me really down infact i felt like i wanna kill myself rightnow )': Im hurting and crying like a little baby rightnow!!! Everytime its snap in my mind, i felt im losing the most precious thing in the whole wide world. The question is WHY?!! URGGGHHH. MSDK )': What do you feel if you lose something/someone that will happen to be in your life forever? IT HURTS LIKE HELL! Sakit wah hati ani, SAKIT BERABISSS )': If i just had one wish, i wish that i can turn back the time. I wanna fix things that should be fix. I admit i regret for the mistakes i've done years ago. But what can i do? I cant just rewind masa cematu saja and usai semuanya, its too impossible. I just hope one day i'll be livin the life that i've been dreaming of, insyallah mudahan umur ani panjang amin. Almost 19years i've been livin and i felt many ups and down and hoping to stay longer and achieve to be more better than i could rightnow. Just hoping that someone could paham aku and be there for me always. It is almost april, genap lah 2tahun nya MSDK )":

Title: Craving and Eating.

2010-03-05T02:48:00.005+08:00

Ok im just trying to keep my blog alive here so this is the update. Been chatting just now with roliepolieolie and thats when i went horribly CRAZY! I wont mention apa yg MENAIK KAN DARAH KU ATU sakit saja hati ani!! Ok nevermind that. So lately i've been craving IKAN MASIN ): Aku mau ikan masinnnn seliur wahhh s: Its been 4days i've been craving for ikan masin. Suruh the maid buat kan balum tah sampai2 nya eh!! I want to eat ikan masin so badly ): Not just ikan masin tapi spaghetti, nasi pusu, pizza, ayamku, blutak, sandwich and egg tart ): Oh man im short but i got a whole big tank in my tummy! Shoot, how i am gonna lose weight if i just kept craving and eating saja! Can someone stop me?! I cant control eating s: And urgh how i hate my hands! Gatal saja wah ya, i think im allergic to that citra ayu cream DAMN bida tangan ku tarus wah tapi nyaman bah pakai sejuk rasanya! Ok im off, krg my babe mrh akhir tidur.

Title: This week is the week that i will never forget.

2010-02-28T00:43:00.042+08:00

So lastnight we all just came back from miri and it was....sama jua lah macam trip di KK. Only that this time no kids only us yg bujang2 hehe. And i didnt shop much time di miri due to kapeh-ness :D Next time i just got to bawa usin banyak2 eh, buring bawa usin sikit atu. Ah babe ah??? And like always i eat much liat tah aku mikin berisi ah s: I cant stand the delicious food sana membari makan banyak wah macam2 kan di makan. I like the pasar malam sana not like brunei, di sana macam2 ada basar lagi pasar malam nya tinggal milih saja lagi. Hm and i had nightmare lagi kelmarin which really worries me )': 3times wah, pikiran ku jadi inda menantu banyak tanda soal!! I hate this BANAARTTAHH! )': Currently now, im having a stupid tummy-ache which really ruin my mood and im so not in a peace situation right now im having a stupid headache jua! Hm )': So im lazy to taip banyak2 let the pictures explain everything, these are just some banyak lagi tapi in facebook, indakan ku upload semua kali lagi? Atu banaaaa patah tangannnn. These are the pictures when we were in KK and Miri. I LOVE THEM! (: And babe i love you wah, i hope that it wasnt true. Aku bulih jadi gila mun banarrrr!!!!! )': Nauzubillah. Oh yes today is our 4years 5months annivesary babe (: I will never stop loving you, only you here in my heart. You meant a lot to me, hoping this relationship stay longer. I want to be your real " bini and mamanya " and wanna be by your side always. AJHS, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!

During Miri.. 26/02/2010

During KK.....20,21,22,23/02/2010

Ok im off, got to rest my eyes and head. I incredibly need some rest and do something that can cheer my mind up. Oh yes before i forgot.. I would like to thanks all of them who had join the vacation with me especially My beloved Makteh Aunty Kug, My Dearest brother Hazar Sister Fhiee and My Only Baby James (: Without them i wouldnt had enjoy the vacation even sikit pun. I LOVE THEM A LOT!!!

Title: The trip to KK.

2010-02-24T22:59:00.005+08:00

My only tagap man, i love him walautah kadangnya ia ani membari banci!

So 20th February me myself and I was on trip to KK. On trip with my baby, dearest makteh aunty kuG, beloved brother Hazar and two nakal boys adrian and khairi. Kami di sana 4hari 3malam. I dont know how to rate because sometimes i felt enjoy but at the sametime i felt down and so boring. Well the boring part is aku inda aman shopping!! Sibuk2 tah jua bah salah sorang kami kan beria saja keraja nya ESH!! Kaya tarus jamban KK olehnya. First time belanja $478RM, woooh awal2 paradise plg rasanya sekali bali punya bali mcm inda cukup tia rasanya gila aku ani shophaholic wah s: I just cant stop beli atu beli ini kalau bulih tah beli semua wah! Hm theres loads of story i would like to share here about KK but i decided not to cuz tangan ku malas nak taip banyak2 maaa, all i can say it was fun i guess and aku kuat makan yatah kan diet ni exercise tarus babe ku cakap aku lampuh JAHAT IA EH aku ucap nya lampuh KURANG HASAM!!! ): Tapi banar aku makin berisi wah, sasak ku inda pandai beranti makan ku ngidam itu ini ku s: Huh i just want my 36kg back wah, now weight ku 40kg dah byk makan ku dah eh I felt fat wah esh WHATEVER!

And so down eh i was thinking kan upload the pictures when we were at KK here but turns out nanti saja cuz balum kana lend camera bah aku ah, will upload as soon as i get that camera (: These picture of kami berdua ani are from bro hazar's phone, the rest arah camera makteh. So i guess til here, aku sangal s: Tomorrow lagi ambil sijil beranti, oh shoot sangal ku meliat " bagas " sekulah ku ah, nothing interesting! Oh yes i will be on vacation lagi hehe this time ke miri plg, will serbu there this friday (: With my baby, makteh aunty kuG, bro hazar, malik eqah and sis fhiee. Hope inda boring eh and hope nada lagi yang teberia2 saja! Eh oooppsss! Tetaip pulak!

Title: Bodoh much.

2010-02-17T22:30:00.003+08:00

I woke up tadi with a headache and damn my back hurts s: Its been 3days now ia sakit, i dont know apa sebabnya out of nowhere bah ia sakit ah ): So i am 100% pissed today!! Dia pikir aku bodoh maaa. Talur jua eh tarang2 bah wang eh kanapatan ah, bullshit inda tah mau ngakun inda sial dari manakan tu!! BUDUH IA!! Mun inda pasal sayang and family, ku tinggal kan kau atu udah!! BAE BAH BAE TAU KAUUU! Kau ingat aku main2 kah dangan cakap2 ku, JANGAN LUWAN INDA PEMERCAYA ANI WANGGG ADA KAN KAU RASAI. BAKAL JA KU ANI BEPIKIR TAU KAN SAYANG KAU, INDA KU INGIN BUAT PEKARA YG INDA DI INGINI ATU. KU GITAHU KAU WANG AH SESAYANG2 KU KAN KEDIAKAU ATU JANGAN DI AMBIL ADVANTAGE BUAT PEKARA2 YG KU BANCI, PAHAM KAU SANA ATU?!! EH MATI BANAR EH CUBATAH RASA SAYANG KU ANI ARAH MU HILANG, INDA KU SAKIT CAMANI KUSUT MENTAL!! BAE BAH TAU KAU BAE??! Mun kan main tipu MARITAHHH sama2 tani main tipu!! Kau jua suka menipu, tebuat aku karang macam2 cakap mu ulah mu. KIMA BANAAAR! Macam bae lagi tu, take dont know ya BUDUH IA! Nah liat tah kau inda paidah2 kana sumpah2 saja kau oleh ku BUDUH! And lagi satu talur soalan mu atu " buleh kah inda kelahi?" eh bae KAU YANG BUAT MASALAH ANI BUKAN AKU INDA LAYAK SOALAN ATU DI TANYA!! Ah satu lagi sudah atu krg aku yg kau ucap ego, HELLO SIAPA YG EGO BANARNYA NI???!! Shit im out of mood, im pretty pissed wah and i need to cheer my damn self up!! Otak ku hangattttttttttt!!!! p/s: KAU BUDUH tapi aku sayang kau yatah membuat kan aku pun buduh! Terima Kasih eh.

Title: Im just a friend.

2010-02-16T23:28:00.001+08:00

What a relief, semua urusan sijil2 sudah selasai waiting for sijil beranti siap lagi. Nyaman jua hati ani lapas ani nada lagi " bilatah kau kan ambil siji2 mu ani? ", no more kana tanya cani alhamdulilah (: So..today ngalih eh. I didnt have enough sleep, ani tdi bru jua ku bangun pkul 10pm ah ini mcm krg pyh kan tidur ni. So im home now at muara balik, arrived here petang tadi trus ngampai tidur eh. My baby sent me home here, thanks babe. Also thanks for the company tadi and ikut uruskan semuanya. Im not in the mood to talk about him, im diam2 pissed here! Siapa jua inda pissed! Awu ada harinya tu. Malas kan becakap tdi since he's tired and aku pun tired, im not in the mood kan buat issues tadi so simpan saja dulu my dissapointment ani. I was like " ok mun mau banar aku jadi ONLY KAWAN nya saja gitahu inda pyh dih kan bunga2! entah maybe arah urg lain cematu kali jua " . Menhan rasa saja ku tadi atu, BAEEE. Mun mau banar terus terang ja dih inda pyh bunga2, KIMA BAH KIMA. Balum usulnya ia kenal siapa si zirah ani. Inda penyaluru kah tu namanya if urang buat pekara yg kamu banci balik2? PASAN KU PANYALURU NAMANYA TU. Macam cakap kamu, pantang kamu apa kana IGNORE wahhh, yatah rasa ku tu masani!! Macam barat baginya kan gitahu aku ani apanya, OK TU EH AKU MELAYANNN MUN CEMATU CARANYA. Lama dah ku sabar and nyimpan kemarahan ani, ani nada ku sanggup eh kana cakap cematu i felt macam kana cucuk rasanya hati ani BANAAARTAHHH!!! Kan 5 tahun balum tah ia paham and kenal aku ani siapa, EH SADANG JUA TU AH. Ok i admit aku inda paham ia 100% tapi atleast AKU INDA BUAT MACAM YG IA BUAT! Ok aku admit jua some cakap nya inda ku ikut like sleeping late,smoking and pakaian atu pun bukan nya ku inda mau ikut, I WAS TRYING AND ATLEAST INDA BABIT2 KAN URANG. Eh nasib nada mood ku wah kan buat issues tadi, simpan saja tah dulu just wait for the right time. I was trying to be patient tadi tu since my head kusut, ijap ku lain jadinya munku ungkit tadi atu, kusut tia lagi kepala ani ngalih ku lagi inda cukup tidur. Entah eh its really hard for me, my whole family knew everything about him, biasa lagi like he's part of family dah. Mati dah akal ku cana kan buat hati ani puas and inda sakit lagi. I felt like im stupid mcm im not needed in his life. Only one thing yg ku pinta, IF BANAR IA MAU TERUS TERANG SAJA INDA PAYAH BUNGA2 HABIS CERITA BUAT HIDUP BARU YG IA IDAM2KAN SELAMA ANI. OFF, im stupid since i fall in love with you. Its hard just to let you go but it's more hard to know that you really dont need me anymore. Thanks for making me stupid and thanks for making me fell in love with a guy like you. If they dont love you its not gonna be hard for me i will just walkaway but they love you care for you but what did you do to me? Maybe i was wrong bringing you to them and make you guys so close, they really believe in you. Entah eh mati akal ku )':

Title: Happy Birthday sista.

2010-02-15T14:24:00.007+08:00

Happy Birthday to my Dearest sister Nurul Hafiqah a.k.a Fhiee (: Happy 13th Birthday sis, may you have a long life and goodluck on your studies hope that you can make mummydaddy proud. Hope you'll never followed the same step that WE your big sister and brother did, be the best. Will always pray for you and hope all your dreams cometrue. i love you (:

Ok currently now im just gonna blog, im so bored. My baby is pool-ing with my dad so ya boredom strikes me. And its really HOT rightnow, huh i just cant stand it i felt wanna go out and go swimming for the whole day BANAAARTTAHHH. Hm ok will update later or probably tomorrow!

..UPDATE..

Alright currently now im at rimba sleepover sini for just semalam, got to deal things esok.So erk its a tiring day today but i have fun though (: We did celebrate Fhiee's birthday tadi and poco poco all the way. Even inda cukup tidur i still managed to have fun although i was really tired, oh yea i love you baby for your help today youre the best of the best hehe (: But too bad durang tulang didnt come, didnt reply msg too mna kamu?s: Hm probably i'll sleep late today cuz i just took my shower so hard to sleep since i felt really fresh barutah terasa sajuk ni nyamuuu. And oh i hate that i ate much today, i ate like 5-7 chicken wings? Ok maju usulnya aku ani haha. Aight i think thats all i love to share here cuz suddenly my otak is blank. Oh baby, i love you i love you i loveeeeeeeeee youuuuuuuuuuu!!! (: LOTS!!!

Title: Boring saturday.

2010-02-13T23:50:00.000+08:00

My saturday night was boring. Ok its fun going out with my baby and siblings, its just that nothing i felt interesting. Is like we went home early, macam boring jua ku tu and then balik rumah pun boring. Hm lame night i guess. Its been a while i didnt have much fun, usually we just main pool di rumah kumpul2 its not that aku jarang keluar rumah its just that i didnt pernah felt this boring bah. Mind pun inda rest oleh nya, disturb jua lakat pikiran ani. And urgh two nights aku ada nightmare, which pissed me off!! Inda tenang jiwa ku olehnya, its really odd dua kali lagi tu eh ): I was like " Eh bae, mesti ada something ni!!! ". Macam nada mimpi lain saja, ani mikin inda tantu pikiran ku macam dalam utak ku " apa patut di buat ah, gerenti ada something ni ". I hate this kinda feeling )': Inda aman wahhh, it made my life miserable. Think atu think ani equals to kusut wah s: Tambahan lagi tadi i saw that BITCH MIANG KEGATALAN GILABAE rasa kan meraum muhanya pelacur ah!!! What if something happens merana ku lagi, hm i dont know what should i do. Im lost and obviously need help. Im not in peace for this moment ): I HATE NIGHTMARES IT MADE ME INSANE! Nauzubillah.

Tiltle: Thats way too far.

2010-02-12T02:12:00.002+08:00

Today hm not quite well i guess. Went shopping tadi with grandma, broHM and ayai. It was BORING, i didnt even bought that much things like always so nada mood. I slept after having lunch and pool-ing with my baby. I wokeup at 6pm then went down play pool with broHM and paucu. 12am barutah kami semua naik habis uncle ejal balik. Hm so heard a story tadi, bari garam hati mendangar! I am so mad, i mean REALLY MAD!! When me and broHM first heard it, i was like " eh BAE jua!! ". As if kana hina bah kami atu, kana ucap lupa diri!! I was pretty upsad and payah kan pecaya apa yg kana ceritakan atu but i know its true. Macam kana pukul rasanya! Labih sudah tu cara durang atu! Apatah tu cakap cematu ah, eh mun kami tau DATANG KAMI WAHHH apa pulang indaaa! Ani langsung kami inda tau papa kamu ucap kami macam2!! Doesnt mean kami nada di rumah kalau ada papa nada kami balik! Mun cani cara kamu, MANASAJA KAMI LAYAN. Andang patut dah ku inda bagi muha arah kamu atu!! Perasahan berakal PUI!! Awu becakap tah kamu sama aku menagur tah, MELIAT PUN INDA KU MAHU MUN DAPAT JANGAN TAH LAGI MELIATKAN MUHA KAMU ATU ARAH KU BANCI KU!! MELAMPAU DAH!! Sakit hati ku mendangar tadi atu, ANI PUN LAKAT SAKIT HATI KU NI HATI MANA INDA SAKIT MENDANGAR AHH!! Awu bakal saja aku mikirkan urang lain jua, ngada2 becakap cematu! SETAHU JUA!! Di tanya cakap entah nada response tapi sudah atu lain tia lagi ceritanya!! JANGANTAH KAMU PERASAHAN BERAKAL SANA ATU, JANGAN TAH NUNJUK2 YANG DIRI ATU BERAKAL INDA PAYAH BALUM BERAKAL BANAR TU!! Sejahat2 ku sebuduh2 utak ku ingat jua ku kan hal2 lain tanggungjawab ku apa. Sayang sikit dih mulut kamu atu!! Mun ku inda pikir kan urang lain astah melapas banar kemarahan ani arah kamu!! Theres no more respect for both of you, EH BEHAPA JUA KU KAN RESPECT PUI!! I dont mind if you guys kan mereplace both of us but bukan caranya cemani, ani mendatangkan masalah ni cara kamu ahhh yatah mendatang kan dendam jua ni!! Inda buduh dari mana as if kami atu inda part of family saja!! Sooner or later you'll see how mean i can be, i admit for now dapan urang i'll act that im okay LAYAN SAJA TIA KEBERAKALAN KAMU AHHH. I dont feel like mengakun siapa kamu atu arah ku lagi BANARTTAHHH. Its too unacceptable for me, thats way too far! Huh this is why my mood went very down i just got to let it all out here, i guess i stop here got to rest my mind. Currently MSDK )':

Title: Sweet surrender.

2010-02-07T21:26:00.005+08:00

Hello world! Lets just go on with the point aight? Ok today was.. NICE i can say.. Except this buah pinggang of mine bolah!! Ok did attend another SPA test tadi and then off to serasa ada urang kawin. Went there with my baby and my whole family. Its was HOT!! I mean REALLY HOT, i was so ngusut this head lagi dizzy and this buah pinggang lagi macam bae sakitnyaa! We sampai there sharp 10am and went home around 1pm i think, BATAH BAHHH. So kunun today kan beinject but tidak jadi maaa, i just got to get it done before my period comes s: Hm i might sleep late today cuz i fell asleep tadi, alamat this mata nyamal lagi ni setiap malam s: And what annoys me right now is this itchy hands of mine, sibuk2 tah jua bah kan gatal!!! Huh what a day, i did have a lil fun but at the same time im feeling incredibly UNWELL ): Hm i guess thats all for today, i dont felt like typing much. Hoping this pain will heal sooner ): Im so MSDK lately )": Been crying so bad and hard to sleep thinking about it,OFF )":

Title: Girl, you disgust me.

2010-02-05T01:36:00.002+08:00

Ok again, ABOUT HER! My mind just cant stop thinking about her, SERIOUSLY! Everytime i look at her, my mind just went insane. I felt that i want to spit on her right to the face! She really disguts me yaknow! I hate everything about her, BANAARTTAHHH! The way she talk, walk, dress EVERYTHING LAHHH! The way she talks to people, MEMBARI KAN MENAMPAR!! Manakan eh maruah mu ah danggg?!! BUDUH!! Macam nada saja kau kan cakap kutur sama urang, krg sudah kana ucap pelacr mcm2 cakap mu!! TOLOL!! Pasal ulah mu tu karang peradian mu yang kana jua!! BAE! Inda payah dih kan showoff kan arah urang yang kau atu tau kan barang cematu atu, manakan urang mencari kau! Kau biasalah perasan kana cari paasal dirimu yang bagimu LAWA atu! LAWA KALIAH KAU ATU BULIHHH BAIK LAGIIII!! PUI. Tiap hari kau saja kan dipikirkan! MEMBARI SANAK TAU KAU!! Kan inda dipikir kan kau atu PAYAH, LUWAN2 PANDAI JAGA DIRI BAH KAU ATU YATAHHH!! Nama diri buruk pun inda kisah, MANA UTAK ATU KANNN! MANA TIA UTAK MU YG KAU CAKAP BERAKAL AHHH! TAEEE. Ok stop, im getting really tension so i better stop. Hm i dont know how to rate about today, i really have no mood since petang tadi! Its like in my head ada something wrong. I treat him pun harshly like seriously i was pretty pissed infact until now I AM STILL PISSED! Im speechless, i guess i better go to bed atleast a lil tension is released here.

Title: Poco poco.

2010-02-04T02:56:00.002+08:00

Hm the poco poco tadi was....BORING!! But cali jua meliat old peeps dancing around and singing loud. Huh ok i know i sounded unexcited, well tadi ada ANNOYERSS!! Ok the story goes like this ( bah becaita ku ni buring ku ni inda dpt tidur layan saja tia cerita ku ani k ), well ok we were sitting down tadi watching the olders menar menyanyi apa ada tah ANNOYERS SIAL ani mengacauuu!! Ok tempat kami duduk atu hampir bnr dangan tabuk bah pendek kan ceta dpt bah kami sandar arah tabuk tu, so diam2 kami meliat urang poco poco ada tia kana labuk tabuk ah! GILABAE pisinnya!! Mun urg sakit jantung mati kali pakah, ingatnya cali kali!!! BUDUH!! Ok mula2 we ignore lah sekali macam balik2 atu PANYALURU jua tu??! So atlast sanak2 kami ngam si tulang bwa laptob we buat lah arah screen laptop atu " ANNOYING JUA, JOBLESS KAH??? " . And then tanpa di sedari rupanya terbaca rupanya durang hehe pandai mental menyumpah (: HELLOOOO siapa yg ngacau siapa kan ni??? Baru kami buat cematu menyumpah tia yg durang melabuk tabuk atu APAHAL??? NADA KERAJA LAINNN?? BADAN SAJA BASAR TAPI UTAK BODO, MAINAN KANAK2 TU BUI KAU AHHH!! Bakal saja bukan rumah diri wah, bakal saja respect kan tuan rumah!! NGADA2! Mun dangan ani kanak2 inda jua ani BAE BAH BADAN BASAR UMUR PATUTNYA BERAKAL!! Bukan kan sekadar eh cuba pikir if misal nya we sandar wah arah tabuk then kana labuk sakit jua tu nyantaa! Tadi atu kan gugur wah jantung ah apa inda temper ani naikkk!! Kesian baru jua di bagi words cematu, mental tia (: Padahal drg yang mula not us, bisai2 urg duduk diam di kacau macam GILABAE!! Baru ya inda berakal!! Erk ok stop, tutup cerita. Awu mental ku, sudah pun PISSED tadi time bemsg tambahan tah lagi pasal annoyers ani mikin jua ku pissed tuuu!! Ok im gonna go to bed, have to sleep i had to reset my eyes supaya tidur awal. Huh itu 4hari bisai dah mataku sanang tidur awal sekali hari ke-5 atu bebalik tia lagi kan tidur akhir, ok selamat tidur!!!!!!!

Title: Youre making me a bad sister to you.

2010-02-03T01:16:00.003+08:00

Another day with a massive headache. Huh i am incredibly hating her too much! Her attitude, style, way huh everything lah about her! She disgust me somuch BANAARRTTAHHH! Everytime i saw her shit face i felt like want to screw her for good!! Why just can she accept the fact that she is still young and obviously a KID!! She talks like a bitch and act like one! What are you, a real biatch?? Sorry for my uncensored languange i am so freaking pissed right now, i just got to let go of my anger here nada tempat lain lagi bah kan keluarkan anger ani. Ok sambung.. Dont be so sure the boys are going to you because of your wannabe beauty, obviusly their into your disgusting dirty attitude! Is that how you reach your fame?? Aww, so sad youre such a brainless. Youre just trying to make yourself like a fool, oh wait you are a fool. I have been patients for like too long and this time there is no sabar2 from me, i had enough. You and your dirty slutty attitude really disgust me. You think you know everything, you think youre good in everything, you think youre the winner or whatsoever. And its so boring to see you looking " wannabe mature " infront of people, it really annoys me when youre not even one so can you just please stop faking? (: Oh yeah and whatsup with the " menjaga muha thingy? " I thought dulu you cakap " malastah ingau kan pakai sabun2 cream2 apa, natural saja kaliah ". Taeee, ia jua di ikutkan nyaaa!!! And it really so incredibly annoys me when what i had, you just stole it just like a snap of finger! Realised jua kali urg ah semua kan diikutkan!! Inda ketara wah cara mu ah!! Mana tia style2 mu yg kau bangga2 kan ah?? Inda menjadi kah?? Kesian juaa. I know lah youre trying to compete with me, ingat aku inda realised kah?? Im not that blind and obvious cara mu atu ketara (: Its not that inda buleh ikut kan cara2 ku but mun kau yang ikut marah plus gali ku wah! Yang bari pissed lagi, because of you our name jadi buruk! Nada keraja mu lain kah kan melanji menggatal bemiang sana sini?? Inda kau malu kah?? Eh awu wah urg lanji urg gatal urg miang mana pemalu!! Mihir bah MIHIRRR. EEHHH rasakan di ludahi bah muha mu ah BANARRTAHHH. See you made me macam urg inda behati, pasal salah mu sendiri ni aku jadi cemani arah mu. Kau buat aku inda penyampai hati arah mu, rasa kesian atu pun nada wah luwan2 tah kamah tu ulah mu ah baiktah di basuh di gasa barsih2 jua! See how far you and me can get through this, i wont be the one yang apologise. Buat apa jua dih ku kan minta maaf, bukan nya ku ada salah pun (: Once your clean and realised all of your mistakes then we can be just good and pretend none of the issues between us had happen.

Title: Happy 4years 4months annivesary love (:

2010-01-28T07:30:00.005+08:00

Some of the JAK football team.

Morning world! Guess what? I wokeup early today, well thats because i slept early lastnight :D Yesterday i was so exhausted. There was a football match yesterday between JAK and urg orchid garden, WTH urg orchid garden STINKS! BOO (: The result sama, 2-2. Semua urg exhausted including yg meliat jua pasal lalah bah meliat urg main bula ah :D Ergh i can feel my legs is in pain, 2days row jog. Today i dont think i'll jog outside of the house, i'll be jogging inside well sayang jua ada excercise equipment sini ani hehe. My most favourite one is that kind of horsey exercise haha it rides like a horse or you can say a bull. But i dont know i kinda want to jog outside, we'll see. So currently im so hungry rightnow, so starving! Im so craving for murtabak rigtnow and and mee goreng s: Theres nothing to eat wah breakfast today, i started my morning with perut lapar. Not cool! Eh so i am pretty obsessed with the kardashians, i missed to watch them dulu but due to nada masa i didnt often watch them. Gladly i've found the website to watch all the episodes from season1 to season4 (: Im dreaming to have a life like them, ok im dreaming again lame much! Hm and i have the most annoying night the other day! I mean TWO ANNOYING NIGHTS! WTH does it want?!! Ok before i post further i better stop, im avoiding to share those nights here so farewell world!

HAPPY 4YEARS 4MONTHS ANNIVESARY LOVE (': Hope this relationship will last longer, nobody can steal my heart like you did. I love you like crazy! We'll make our dream cometrue yes? Do it with me, us together! Lots of kisses from your baby NHH. I love you somuch AJHS (:

Title: Why life is so damn hard.

2010-01-24T07:45:00.004+08:00

Okay i slept for like beberapa minit tadi, i didnt realised that i fell asleep and i wokeup mengajut. So as usual mun dh tebangun andang ku pyh tidur balik, besides this parut hungry so i waited for breakfast. So theres a lot in my mind lately, been thinking about the future and the past. Didnt know what i was thinking actually, and it made me really sick. I really need someone at the time like this but unlucky me nobody understands. I dont know who will i run to, who should i talk to when the fact is nobody around me believes and understands what im going through. Ok yes its getting annoying, many times dah ku ckp cemani but seriously i cant stand it. Sorang pun inda paham wah so why let it out kan? Inda jua pidah, diam saja act like im okay. Sometimes i just felt giving up. I dont know what else i could do to fix myself up, my life is a disaster. Ok shut that, im getting sad ): So i've been really aware about the supernatural things, i dont know why but i felt weird s: Lain2 bah di pikiran ah, i imagined macam2. Sometimes i even heard voices and kept seeing things but not dapan2lah like imbas2 saja, and what bugs me sometimes i felt someone is wacthing me. You can say im making up stories or crazy or whatsoever, well im not. I've been feeling so disturbed lately, nothing i could do except ignoring it. Apa kan gitahu durang? Pui ingau pun inda tu, kna ucap ada saja ku. Buang masa durang kan mikirkan. They dont even realised that im not okay, so why bother telling?? KAN?! Wasting everyone times. Shoot i better go, my eyes are getting really heavy.

Title: I just got to look better.

2010-01-22T04:48:00.003+08:00

Cant sleep when i really want to. Hm later on i'll be cutting this hair, i just got to look better wah i just gotta change all of my looks s: Lately ive been so bauri youknow. I kept thinking about beauty and stuff like that and seriously i need to lose this fats ): Pokonya I NEED TO LOOK GOOD! I dont know why im worried about this kind of things so much, maybe im just too obsessed on him? Sampai bauri kan about beauty sort of things. Yes i know im overacted but cana jua, bauri ku s: I think you all know what aku bauri kan ): Its not really cool you know having a long-term relationship like i had now, theres a lot that i have to worry about. Well im not saying im not happy with it its just that entah eh hard to explain wah. Theres a lot on my mind mun aku ani heartless wah bisai nada pyh ingau apa2 ani pengingau wah aku ah banci ku! Salah2 wah ingau krg salah then krg inda di ingau salah tah jua apakan sebenarnya yg LURUS?! And its so not easy you know to let go the thing or person that means a lot to you cematu saja but depends lah whats the reason and problems well if mcm aku ani sekali inda beperi kemanusiaan buleh tahan jua ni. Sekali nya bae, inda alang2 jua bae ku ni! Sekali hati ani sakit, gila ku minta ampun tah ku, aku sendiri pun banci! Bah enough about phathetic me. Huh i wish i was heartless, ani payah bah behati ah kana buat macam BODO! Currently now im just sitting down cheering myself up with music. Sadih ku wah. BAURI WAHH! Bae ni situasi cemani ah!! Membari kan menampar wah diri ah BANARTAHHH. Eh sial banar eh, my heart beats laju banar wahhh apa makna nya kan tu )': Heartache and Headache EHHH! And huh nightmare kelmarin was... STUPID! Let me just keep it to myself wont be telling NO ONE, I REPEAT NO ONE! Who cares anyway, perasahan si dayang ani! Ok im out of mood, KUSUT!

Title: What an early morning.

2010-01-21T06:58:00.004+08:00

Morning earthlings. Guess what? I wokeup at 4am tadi and yes i slept early lastnight. Well i was terbangun tadi subuh pasal i felt hot wah tadi yatah i cant sleep balik s: Well anyways, breakfast just now was good nasi goreng cornbeef (: I messaged my baby just now, playing pool just now tadi with my dearest broHM and youtubeing as usual. So far atu sja ku buat since i wokeup tadi.I wish i can jog on this kind of morning but too bad no dangan, di bawa si bro ani mcm2 ckp nya tapi TEBUAT KRG MAIN BULA LAJU YA! Kebelakangan ani my bro boring, all he thinks about is FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL AND FOOTBALL!! I was like, " eh aku bini2 wah jgntah ckp pasal bula wah mun bawa aku main inda jua dripada mendangar you talking, talking and talking!". HAHA okay end that part. And yes i was planning kan jog krg with my baby but entah my bro ani want him to play football krg so yeah i dont know either let him play with them or jog with me krg, belum decide. Ok what else? Oh yes this friday which means tomorrow, planning kan bwa my bro begunting esuk cuz beloved grandma balik2 dah tagur about his hair. We'll see tommorow cana either ikut makteh in the morning atu cuz ia keraja di gadong esuk or make up other plans. Ok im finished, have a good day !

Title: Im tired and I wanna sleep.

2010-01-20T00:39:00.003+08:00

Right its almost 1am and as usual im still awake, but actually sleepy plg ku sudah ni. But somehow di bwa tidur inda mau, my mind kacau s: I got this weird sick from tadi morning, i felt i want to vomit and oh gosh the headche tadi really kuat kan mati rasanya ): And my neck sakit jua wahhh sibuk2 tah jua ): Huh so you can see that my day today went.... unwell. But yes seperti biasanya i fake to everyone that im okay. Did meet my baby tadi which surprised me. I didnt know that he'll be coming tadi, when he came i was still in bed sleeping. Not much said, just some silly issues about this blog thingy and about my pakaian. I was like " can you give me a rest baby, im tired! ". Inda plg ku ckp cematu awu ada sja kana amuki, what i meant is my expression. And yes im getting worried about his obessesed on wanting to be a rpk soldier, urg worried inda ya ingau wah! I did bibiran to him not to join the rpk army but still he keras kepala inda maumau, huh jgntah wah babe keraja lain sja bah ): Hm okay end that part, hm what else? Erk im blank my head is paningflies rightnow, i need to rest my eyes in peace. p/s: I have annoying skin, my face part is bright when it comes to the other part is dark. huh i need to do someting to fix that. And whats more annoying that i eat much and my body's weight is getting berat wah. I seriously need some exercise or something that could make this fats all gone. BABE EH BAWA ALING JOGGING BAHHH!!!! I REALLY NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT ): Currently, im craving for swimming pool for my exercise routine!

Title: Im 3000 and 8 but youre 2000 and late.

2010-01-18T21:00:00.000+08:00

Okay like seriously, i love them both! Nice slang there girl hehe

Okay so tadi i wokeup at 5lalu pm. Yes i know, akhir ku bgun atu :D Meletup my record maaa, i slept tadi around 7lalu in the morning and wokeup around 5lalu in the afternoon. What a sleepyhead i am! I was seriously tired and my eyes are so lazy. So i wokeup took a bath and wallah, youtubing as usual. I would like to sleep early today but probably inda dpt due aku bangun akhir atu, and sabar sja bejalan krg ngantuk. Will be going out with beloved grandma and my beloved broHM to buy some things for the house later and its in the morning. So my phone its not my favouritest things in my list nowadays since it doesnt have any credit for so long and no one yg ingau ia inda becredit ah, FOOL! And yes lately i dont know much what to do with my everyday life melainkan makan, tidur, youtubeing, music, games and blogging. I have a boring suffociated life everyone and i hate it! My dreams is to travel around the world which is impossible to cometrue hehe oh yeah also i love dreaming setiaphari :D Okay im weird today, randomness is all over me today and look at me blogging pun inda tantu semua kan ku ckp :D Im off now, its youtubeing time jeng jeng jeng ! IM SUCH WEIRDO HUH!!

Title: Happy Birthday Lil Buddy!

2010-01-17T21:48:00.003+08:00

Okay its 17th of January and i would like to wish my lil bud here a HAPPY 9th BIRTHDAY! (: Sorry nada present istimewa dri kaka mu yg tercinta ni but wish all the best for you. I know you are a goodboy and always remember that WE LOVE YOU!! And hope all your dreams cometrue, yatah belajar tah bisai2 (:

Well lets see what i can share.... Ok so my saturday night kelmarin was not the saturday night i was looking forward to, it turns out like SHIT! And mcm biasa i was always the one to blame. I tried to let go everything i felt inside but always his ego-ness made me crazy!! Huh we fight, fight and fight dont you feel sick about it baby? I cant stand those fights that we had for these past years, it aint going nowhere. When will you ever get me?): Im sick of crying, im sick of the stupid argument, im sick of stupid issues and im sick of the stupid fights. I wish this relationship will heal fully soon. Hm okay im off, i got to rest my eyes.

Title: Tell me baby.

2010-01-12T22:46:00.005+08:00

Hm I just wokeup from sleep, ya its weird i slept early today. Well due to my stupid headache like always. And oh yeah guess what? BADNEWS! Im not going to miri this weekend, HUH! I have to attend that SPA writing test on sunday morning! GILA! So....lately ive been really alone, i mean i felt it. You know how does it feel when you dont know who will you run to or talk to, well it happens to me. Thats why i let it all out here. I keep it all to myself. Siapa mau jua tahu kan? NO ONE. And its sad when no one believes you, well it happens to me too. Its funny yaknow sorang pun doesnt get me at all, even the one that i trust. Like him example, why should i tell you whats my problem baby? Can you do anything about it? NO KAN? Do you believe me? NO KAN? All you know is pressuring me, dont you ever said you understand me when youre not and when you dont believe me at all. Those words you said today hurt me somuch as if im crazy and making up stories. Tell me why should i run to you? When you did nothing at all to make it okay. Tell me why should i talk to you? When you dont even believe me. I thought you'll be the one that i can count on to but obviously youre not, from the beginning i was always alone ): And lately this questions always pops on my damn mind, do we ever desserves each other? We've been ups and downs for these years, i do love you but its hard to face the whole fact when it comes to understanding. I admit theres a lot missing but you dont realised it at all, it made me more sad and all in doubt. I felt you are keeping me hanging around and i felt you dont care at all this special thing we have. I felt i dont know how to deal with you anymore. I dont know what to do except giving all the love to you. I gave you too much attention but theres none for me, thanks for nothing!! (: Bah, OFF!

Title: I no like PMS!

2010-01-11T21:37:00.002+08:00

Ok almost oneweek i didnt blog, its weird nowadays i dont blog much when i actually have a lot to talk about. If dulu segala gala kan di keluarkan di sini but now hm different, biar tia ada yg secret. So my life? Hm i dont know, all i know i really need to fresh my mind. Probably this weekend i'll be heading to miri with my baby and drg makteh, i was surprised makteh sendiri invite my baby to follow. ok i know i dont sound that excited hm i dont know eh whats wrong with me. My mind kacau wah! Im in period lagi masani huh lagi kacau!I dont like pms s: Anyways lately ive been spending my time with the youtube sims thingy, i found it really fun to watch when i dont really have so much to do. Gosh, im a youtube geek! Ok skip that, im annoying! So tadi whatsup with that BITCH?! I mean whats wrong with me marung marung? Nada cali ia yg ia ketawa macam urg sinting tadi atu! BAE KAU AH DANG DPN URG GANYA TU KAU TAE PALAT AH KIMA ULAH GILABAE BERAKAL LAGI KANAK2 BUDUH! Sabar kau dulu, inda lama tu kau ah (: Bah ok skip that and yes i have another story about the girl who inda sadar diri! I fought with her and it was abig fight glad ada broHM mun inda kana banar ya. Why ah so stupid? Out2 bah cakap nya, ketara wah out of words ah. Mun diri atu salah diam tah saja ani inda mau mau lagi tu kan melurus kan diri nya yg tarang2 salah ah. Mengapa kan ah palui tu? Urg yg salah tetap salah bah!! Why menangis? Ia jua inda takut apa2, ia jua good in everything MANA TIA URG BERAKAL AH? MANA?! Mana tia urg membanggakan diri nya ah MANAA?! TAEEEE. Mikin betambah ku banci meliat muhanya apalagi kan menagur PUI! Ok mental ku think thats all for today. And i know banyak words " ok " today, im not in a good mood. Gonna cheer myself up with youtube, weird!

Title: Its my damn life.

2010-01-04T22:55:00.002+08:00

Im so stress out right now at the same time im really mad. This life is making me crazy! No one actually support me if they are they will understand me!!Aweh drg mcm banar ckp support aku lah apa lah, MANA?!!! TAEEE. My patience is out of limit. I hate when people force me do the things that i dont want to do. Its hard for me to do something that i am not interest to. Its my life and i ride it but pity people around me dont get it. Di mata urg aku ani lakas giveup in doing something inda mencuba lakas putus asa, okay they can say macam atu. Tau drg kan yg aku mencuba or inda? INDA KAN? OKAY LET ME SAY THIS STRAIGHT " I WONT GIVEUP IF I DONT TRY A.K.A AKU INDA KAN PUTUS ASA BILA KU BELUM CUBA, AKU INDA KAN PUTUS ASA CEMATU SAJA. People always pandang aku cematu tpi drg inda tau macam mana payah nya ku berusaha. Prkataan " inda sanggup or giveup atu inda akan keluar dari mulut ku cematu saja bila ku inda mencuba ". What does it feels when you have to live a life like mine? Everyone is up when im the only one is down. Whatever, maybe this is the test that ive been given from above. And okay one more thing whats up my emotional? Okay yes aku ani pemarah pemental pengusut stress urang nya, bila inda kacau utak ku ani inda ku cematu bah! EH KENAPAKAN URG MASANI TAU CKP SJA, MERASA SENDIRI WAH BARU BECAKAP!

Title: Craving for these.

2010-01-02T12:12:00.005+08:00

SHOOT! Im craving for these, i just got to have it wahhh ): I found out barang barang ani ada yg murah but still im broke HUH s: I desperately need them 0: SPAN

Title: Hoping for the better in 2010.

2010-01-01T12:40:00.003+08:00

So......HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Its new year and im sure people around the world got their own aims for this year 2010 (: So i celebrated my new year with drg makteh and my baby (: Called mom lastnight saying a happy new year! " We cant promise mom but we'll try (: ". So for 2010 im desperately hoping for a better life, a happy relationship and a happy normal family. Im going all the way to fix everything. I had enough with 2009 because i failed eveyrthing ): Huh im speechless, out of words s: I dont feel like semangat for this new year mcm i felt every year sma saja ): Okay im OFF.

Title: Erk, ape nak jadi.

2009-12-31T01:35:00.006+08:00

Tummyache for almost 5days now, it aint cool! Makan dh ku ubat tu ah, lakat jua macam bae sakit nya! So my temper mikin naik kebelakangan ani, macam macam ada d utak ah sabut tah sja ada ni semua dlm utak ah. Hm batah batah ani ive been thinking a lot about the future, entah cemana kah aku ani nanti. Problems lagi betimbun s: Penyakit bae ani lagi mikin menjadi! I hate it when im out of control ): I wish i can undo everything so my life inda cemani. Inda guna kan regret it happened sudah, just go on lah even sakit macam mana pun. But sometimes i really felt mau giveup saja everything hm mati dah akal ani kadang nya ): Oh yea last two days kali sad berabis ku psl................hm mlasku cerita sini eh nah dtg balik sedih ku. OFF. )':

I LOVE AJHS!!

Title: What tha hell !

2009-12-26T21:07:00.004+08:00

Today's BBQ was.... i cant say i enjoyed but incredibly tiring eh and i ate too much today which is not okay. I tried to have fun but hm inda dapat. So i just act that i really had fun and enjoy the whole day which im not ): I kept faking smile, i act that im okay tapi banarnya inda, i kept laughing just to ease this pain and hiburkan diri but semuanya useless at the end when im alone datang lagi, lagi, lagi and lagi! Thought today is gonna be the day that i will never forget but....hm S: Theres something bothers me and i just cant stop it! I kept fighting til it stop but i cant ): It just keep bothering me again and again, what the hell is wrong with this stupid brain. Erk! I dont know why suddenly it pops on my mind, really i dont know! Everytime im alone thinking, i kept thinking this nonsense things which is totally weird. I hate it when aku babau tarus-tarus, angan-angan tapi utak bejalan. ANNOYING WAH SAKIT HATI KU! It haunts me, sakit kepala ku wah oleh nya. Okay the headache datang lagi, im OFF didnt have the mood to talk about the whole BBQ thingy, i have mention already that it wasnt that all good i fake everything )':

Title: Life with no respects.

2009-12-25T12:08:00.003+08:00

Currently pissed off right now! Cuba kamu, how do you feel when someone sukati ja makai barang kamu with no permisson at all? Gerenti marah kan? Thats what i felt right now. Banyak kali dah kana buat cani, inda respect aku langsung!!! Bae sukati nya makai ada lagi barang privacy tu!!! Padahal i did warned her tapi dui BABAL KAN MATI!!! Mantang-mantang ku nada di rumah sukatinya ganya! Huh terpaksa ku tahan saaja marah ani for tommorow mudahan everything is going well esuk. Payah ada adi tae palat ani!!!!! BAUTA USULNYA! Awu perasahan mature dah, MIHIR TABAK BABI! Di suruh bali barang inda mau biar barang urang habis di rusah kan nya!!! Bukan ku kan bekira tapi almost semua barang-barang ku kan di kabas nya!!!! Ergh tahan saja tia dulu, tae palat tia ya dulu dont look for me if anything happens (: Bah skip that, mental saja oleh nya. So lastnight was super good (: Me, my baby and the rest went dinner with makteh tercinta and auntKUG at sungai tilong seafood center. I love the feeling when he gather around with my family, it feels good *thumbsup (: Im lovin it ! :D We went home with full tummy, the food was good everyone was having paradise :D Bah im not really in the mood for blogging, until then.................................................................

Title: Im a weirdo.

2009-12-21T21:10:00.004+08:00

So... been 5 days this blog is unwritten. Here it goes.. My days were upside down i guess, mcm biasa sja nothing special. So... hm life? Shoot! Its getting really messy. My head felts like want to explode. I dont know whats wrong actually, well everything is going well but entah that kinda weird feeling masih ada s: Susah mau cakap, im the only one that can feel how weird it is. Ergh im such a weirdo! Erk skip that. Last saturday we were having family function which is good, my baby came which is super good (: It feels like he's already apart of the family, awww *dreaming. Well hope he'll be my soulmate who will takecare of me sampai tua bekeradut jua (: Seriously, im dying to live with him BANAARTTAHH. Boh deep aku AHHH :D Tapi awu banar EHHH, banar sebanarnya inda pecaya balah tia dada ku AHHH * mati majal. Haha q: Bah eh speechless ku tarus bedeep sja keraja ku, WTH! Huh i have got to find a job eh sooner, kan jadi apa inda bekeraja ahhh! OFF, mau layan the hills and the city.

Title: Not me, not I.

2009-12-16T19:25:00.007+08:00

Today was phathetic. My head and my stomache was like, OUCH! Sakit S: I dont know whats going on with me, i get to love sitting alone and talking to myself everyday. Mcm setiap ptg i would cari place yg sunyi then sit down sna doing things that is not me at all. No im not crazy i just dont know what is going on my freaking mind ): I dont know what should i do, who should i talk to cuz for me theres no one in this whole wide world will want to hear me and give their shoulder just for me to lay on. Its actually happen lama sudah but it stops but now dtg semula. I just hate this weird kinda feeling, all i can do is not to fear whatever is going to happen and im gonna struggle just to make it all okay. I have no mood to contact him either, i dont know why. I just felt useless and not needed. It feels like nothing in this world could ever make my life a dream cometrue. If i could have one wish, i'll wish for someone who always be there for me care for me need me listen to me and never ever will forget me whenever and wherever. Inda banyak pun sorang jaditah, sounds like i desperately need attention ): I just want to be happy that is all, i just want all the bad things go away. Inda salah kan?s: This is what i did expressing the whole thing in this phathetic blog. People just wont listen to me, criticizing, blaming is all they could give. I know im weird i know im brainless i know im nothing in everyone eyes but what to do im just a normal human being, i have many lack and trying my best to be better. People just cant seem to see that i am really trying for the better, they all just see me for the worst. Kesian kan having a life cemani? For you, i wish you'll be that dream cometrue but for now i dont see you like that. I see you just like i see the others. I never thought im feeling like i been abandoned by you and never thought i am here just for nothing. Why cant you just be that different from other people, im not begging you to give me much of that attention but liat tah something happen to me pun you dont realised you never cared. The inside of me never was the important thing for you to care. Dont blame me not telling you. Its hard living a life like mine. Wish i could live a better life. Pyh nyamu bila tani atu nada papa nya di mata urg. Im gonna rest my mind now, im out of words.

Title: Deal with it!

2009-12-14T23:56:00.003+08:00

Just got back from jalan. It was... unsatisfied, seriously i dont have much fun ): Pikir today was gonna be the enjoyable day but turns out, NOT! But cerita santau tadi was GOOD! Tpi aku nda puas hati inda meliat dri awal and smpai akhir ): Cari dvd nya pun susah tdi!! So I was so kusut and stress tdi BAAANAARRTAHH! Many things just PISSED ME OFF! But i managed ke clinic tadi, relief sikit dpt ubat from doctor. Hope i will get well soon. Hm i am in PANAS HATI situation right now!! I NEED MY BABY )'''':

OFF!!!!

Title: 100% unwell.

2009-12-12T10:10:00.003+08:00

Okay two days row, SICK!! It sucks BIG TIME MAN! Currently im suffering demam selisma, batuk-batuk and the body is sakit semacam especially the leg and pinggang part ): It aint cool eh, payah makan payah tidur payah bejalan ingat siuk tu ah siukkkk?!! So i guess i cant make it for tomorrow driving class later i'll ask my baby to tunda it for me. And yes will be going out this monday with them and ofcourse will bring my baby too, ITS A MUST. I planned to go to clinic this monday if the pain still remains, seriously inda ku tahan anipun menahan rasa. I want to go clinic ASAP but due to kesibukkan my baby paksa tahan and wait for the result on monday. If okay sudah inda payah lah if masih, clinic lah jawapan nya ): Huh and so boring, makteh is in KB until sunday. And no plans for today and sunday my baby inda suruh jalan cuz he's busy with his sister tunang ceremony. Entah krg ku dgr kna bwa ke pantai i dont know kan ikut or inda ikut my mood. So sampai sini sja inda ku aman menaip selisma ani, BAE! ):

Title: Dream On!

2009-12-10T01:47:00.006+08:00

Okay yesterday i started driving lesson sudah. Ai mai gat, inda ku nyanyat nyamu manual AHH! Seriously, BANGANGKU! My legs sakit bahh, hampus tarus olehnya. Inda cali tu! And surprised first day lesson sudah kna bwa jalan besar, dah pun aku bangang kna bwa lagi jln basar ): First day i admit, no good eh. Hope later i managed to ingat semua and hope im not lalai and cuai, tadi selalu happened tu eh s: I just cant stand the class part, kusut tarus oleh nya bahhh BANAARRTTAHHH. Awu dlu iski kan belesen dah merasai manual atu patah bui semangat AHHH. MIMPI SAJA! Okay skip that, i dont want to concentrate on that just hope mikin hari mikin better atu sja. So my baby pick me up after driving class and went jalan jalan. My $$ totally habis, i know boros much! Once beusin i'll shop til i drop, perangai that i cant change! Payah nyamu aku ani kan menyimpan usin, sanang sja usin habis olehku. So shopping with my baby, mcm mcm bah kn di beli. Cuba imagine from 1pm to 6+pm bah kmi siap shopping ah, banar banar biskami shopping atu. Then after shopping ke stadium drg eggmal, hasaruthin, hasikah, malik and ikhwan bwa jogging so ya we wait for drg di stadium sja. Then after jog mkn nasi katok lambak then at 11pm.... BALIKLAHHH!

- The End -

Title: My mom made my day today.

2009-12-07T22:00:00.001+08:00

Today was..... good but ada jua bad sikit. I wokeup pasal mom called asking about my JPD test then tutup tipun, ada message from b-mobile. And guess what? Mom transfered me $2, i received the msg with surprise face. Bangang ku bah, tertanya tanya ku tarus olehnya. So i msg my mom asking her salah transfer kah inda and ckp thankyou tarus q: hehe so she replied! Manis eh replynya hehe, she said " correct darling ". Mikin ku bangang lagi, bckp trus ku sorang diri " apa angin mama ani? ". Tapi seriously today angin mama baik ehhh. Sudah pn aku kna transfer kredit skali tadi ku karumah melawat peradian ku, mom gave me $50. Mcm rasa inda pecaya bah tapi apa pun Alhamdulillah (: And what a surprise, sisJG told me mom ada cerita pasal my baby, awww (: Lagi tia ku tekajut mom ada cerita pasal jamesbond. Today aku melalui hari yang bangang :D Dari pagi sampai malam, BANGANG! But anyway thankyou mom cuz you made my day today (: Hm but im a lil pissed right now!! And aku rasa lain ): Jaga shit will happen ni liat saja, sekali rasa ani lain bah confirm ada! Okay moody ku tarus, OFF. p/s: Jgnth d blas bah msg ku ah, alang alang jgnth contact kh tantu kan? i know ada something that i dont know! MMMbahhh okay tu eh MANASAJATAHHH!

Title: Whatever dude!

2009-12-04T11:34:00.003+08:00

I woke up sharp 1045am. So i have no mood to reply any misscalls or messages apalagi dari IA!! MALASTAH KU INGAU MELAYAN LAKI LAKI GATAL MIAANG ANI NYAMU EHHH. Mati GATAL BAE AHHH SIAL USULNYA. So today malas jalan jalan lalah masih bagas kelamarin but surely tomorrow jalan since makteh balik malam atu jua, besides this utak mau bagi relax maaa. Bah OFF. Im sick of you and gonna learn how to kick this feelings, i want it to fadeaway so badly cuz your just pain in the butt ASSHOLEEEE!!! BUDUH!

Title: Now it comes to an end.

2009-12-01T18:46:00.004+08:00

Currently PISSED OFF! What a waste of time kana ulah macam GILABAE! And the sial part AKU BAH KANA UCAP MULAI ANI! Siapa yang selfish and siaapa yang ego banarnya ni???? Aaaahhh what the hell berambus lagi bagus laaaaa!! He thinks aku inda berani bah berambus, youre wrong man!!! Meliat tah kau ni aku berambus and inda kau akan meliat muha ku lagiiiiiii!!!! Tae lah aku inda berani. Aku tah menggitahu once you let me go dont look for me anymore, got that?(: Jangan ku di cari lagi lapas atu. Bah until here mental kuuu! BUDUH! -UPDATE at 1230am- Okay my kementelan redha sikit, sikit pulang saja tu. Apa inda redha rezeki datang bah tadi arah ku (: Apa lagi kan shopping tah ku ni hehe Alhamdulillah (: Plan ku kan beli pants, shirts and repair my favourite heels. Sayang banar ku bah heels ku atu yatah kan ku bawa repair kadai. Hm okay off ku before kepala ani kaboom lagi.

Title: Ngantuk ngantuk engkau membunuhku.

2009-11-30T13:10:00.005+08:00

My day today went....normal. I woke up early at 7am because i have to attend the jpd writing test. Well the test was...okay, i guess. My eyes was sleepy bah so ya my mood time test was boring berabis! Mun sudah satu soalan tu batah bah kan bepikir ah padahal sanang saja tu lalai lalai ku ngantuk batah bah jadinya. But anyhow mudahan saja ku pass. Batah lagi tu nunggu result keluar, seminggu bah seminggu! Stress to the hantap ku! Hm so currently now im so the very hungreyh!! Im waiting for my bro to wake up then baru makan. And ai mai gat, im craving nasi goreng pusu buatan his mom tersayang ): Selalu tu eh if time ku kelaparan mesti tu dalan utak nasi goreng pusu ah hm s: Babe im craving nasi mama ): Okay until here my bro just woke up, its makan time. OFF.

Title: 100% out of mood.

2009-11-28T20:08:00.004+08:00

I have no mood today.Sekajap genya angin ku baik then jahat balik. And i seriously dont have the mood to balas his messages and misscalls infact i have no mood to contact him. I felt something is wrong yatah malasku contact. Mun lain rasa ani bah ada tah tu ya. Malas ku ingau mun ia buleh buat kenapa aku inda buleh, awu ja? Esuk outing ani pun malas rasa ku. Buntu utak ku thinking what to do. My instinct is not a joke for you to play. Awu sorry saja after this theres no ampun man (: You'll see how mean i can be, seriuosly you'll see. I might seem weak weak to you, youre totally wrong! I'll do whatever it takes sampai hati ani puas (: OFF.

Title: I woke up with my hungry tummy.

2009-11-24T19:45:00.018+08:00

Phewww!!! Im so bangas right now, i havent took my bath. So malas, later i take i guess. So my mood random today, nothing spesial. Lastnight was... good (: I wish we can talk like that lagi babe, you know atu yang i wait for so long " our confession ". Well okay im not exactly saying that i believe and trust you and im not exactly sure that youre telling the truth but hey the conversation was exactly what i wanted. We have our ups and down but our love what makes us kept holding on. Okay skip that, so my tummy started to sakit-sakit which i dont know why. And what pissed me tadi the two maids cook sikit bah, tau ya jilama di sini banyak masak sedikit! bodoh much. Paksa lah ku tahan lapar until 6pm tadi baru i eat, atupun sikit pasal inda bemood and ai mai gat the perut annoying man! Oh ya this 29th inda jadi ): Have to cancel jua, inda siuk bah not ramai-ramai atu so cancel and schedule another day. Its a MUST, broHM want it so badly. Okay my blogging mood stops till here.

<- UPDATED ->

Okay as i thought, i didnt took my bath infact i slept early then woke up around 11pm. I was freaking tired like seriously tired banaaa ): Banyak bah map pat bantal ah, malu ku s: I felt very cold then tetidur, lain sejuk nya ): But after bangun tadi was freaking awesome (: My so-called nigga brothers was incredibly cali sampai i cried bah ketawa haha q: Oh for info my nigga brothers are broHM and broHIK q: Habis durang selurukan bah, pacah perut eh ketawa saja :D Oh ya im craving for that b-mobile phone like seriously seliur bana ku nyamu eh s: and and i also seliur kan extension my hair ): selalu eh time pokai macam-macam tia craving ku but seriously i want to extense my hair, tired kan short hair, haritupun cut because sisZP said short hair suits on me but thanks anyways for the compliment lang q: Okay my post stops here, currently listening to miss you like crazy (: Im addicted to the song! I miss my cinta, my cookie, my jantung hati, my soul, my panggung, my the rock, my hitman........................ ):

Title: Taee.

2009-11-23T04:22:00.004+08:00

Its been days i didnt blogged. So hm ive been through good and bad times and currently now im not in a good mood. IM SO PISSED OFF AND SO INCREDIBLY MAD! Felt like this head kan melatup saja! Darn eh, why cant i just get over it and be gone? Im sick of LIES and felt like kana buduh-buduhi! SIAL JUA TU. Inda buduh dari mana tu! So unappreciate! Thought life will be paradise so cool and so on but turns out its like living in HELL! I wish i was heartless. Behati inda behati sama saja ceritanya! Ergh, pegi mampus lagi bagus! Cakap saja ngada-ngada buat atu nada macam apaa! Bulih dah mampus tu, banar EHH. Tae lah kan mau happy lah apa lah, tae taeee. Kunun bejannji lah besumpah apa, dui tae laaaa. Sanak nyamu ku mendangar! Baik mendangar tape rusak kali pakah. Mati jua eh cakap saja ngada-ngada, TAEEEE. OFF!

Title: Bitches ALERT!

2009-11-18T00:15:00.004+08:00

SHIT BITCHES!! FUCK YOU! MAIN NGADU KAWAN KIMA AH, MAJAL. MUN KAN CARI PASAL GITAHU JUJUR SIAL INDA PAYAH PAKAI EXCUSE MINTA MAAP. BAE CARA MU AH! NO WORRIES ONE DAY BEJUMPA JUA KITANI TU HEHE JUST WAIT FOR THE RIGHT TIME (: AKU BUKAN MACAM KAU NGADU KAWAN, BUDUH USULNYA UDAH DI CAKAPI HARITU BABAL! MENGAPA DANG? BEGUNA KAU KAN KEDIA? DUI AMBIL PULANGGGGG. AND SORRY AH ALUM AH KU KAN KELAHI MUN GANYA PASAL LAKI-LAKI, KU SURUH PULANG KAU AMBIL BAH NI IA AH (: MALAS TAH KU AH KAN BEKELAHI PASAL LAKI-LAKI NOT MY STYLE KIMA. MAKAN TIA " BF " MU AH YANG KAU MAJAL-MAJAL ANI TUNGGAP TARUS, LUWAN! YANG SI " BF " NYA ANI SAMA JUA TUYU! APA TAH TU IA MENANGIS DI PEDULI APAAANN ~ ENTAH KAU CAKAP JUA KAU SUKA AH! AWU TEBUAT KEDIA NADA BERANI DI SUMPAH, GILA SAYANG KALI AH BULIHHHH. AWU DONT WORRY AKAN KU TEMUKAN KAMU DUA (: SAMA TAH KAMU TU, SAMA-SAMA BABAL INDA MERATI SIZE TAH KAMU TU WAH. SANAK KU SUDAH KANA SIA-SIA KAN MACAM TAE KANA ABAIKAN MACAM GILABAE SANAK KU SUDAH AIR MATA KELUAR UNTUK BARANG YANG INDA PIDAH-PIDAH. BAIK KU MIKIRKAN DIRI KU SENDIRI LAPAS ANI LAGI ADA HASIL SANAK KU SUDAH KANA ULAH KAN MACAM PELACUR! BUKAN STYLE KU JUA NGACAU HUBUNGAN URANG BUKAN MACAM KAU KIMA LUWAN MURAH DAH DI BAGITAU DI ASUH NYA BABAL AH. BAH MALAS KU MENTAL BANYAK-BANYAK SINI. MALAS TAH KU NGACAU " URANG SEDANG BECINTA SANA ATU ". BAHAGIATAH DANG BABAL AND WANG BABAL (: IF KAU INDA GATAL JUA BEKAWAN MENGHANTAR KEDIA APA NADA JADI CEMANI. APAKAN MACAM NADA URANG LAIN SAJA IA JUA PELACUR SURUH PULANG YA SAMA DANGANNYA BEAMPUT ATU MENGHANTAR ANI MAU KAU JUA. MUN INDA SUKA WANG INDA KAU MENULUNG KEDIA. ENTAH KAU MATITAH KAU SANA AH. p/s : mun rasanya membaca ani, JANGAN KU DI JUMPAI. PIKIR TAH SENDIRI SANA. INGAT SANANG KAN SETTLE CEMATU SAJAAA! TAE LAH, SALAH SENDIRI PIKIR SENDIRI. JANGAN CAKAP KU MAJAL, PIKIR WAH MUN KAU DALAM SITUASI KU ANI! SUDAH NYANGKU RASA HATI KU INDA PERNAH MENIPU, LIAT TAH DI MALAM BANAR KAN RASA KU AH LIAT TAH APA TAH TERJADI TADI. APAKAN? SENGAJA KAH? PIKIR KAN TIA. JANGAN EGO, APA RASANYA MUN DIRI ATU DI SITUASI DIRI ANI! BAHHH!

Title: Curiosity.

2009-11-17T01:16:00.004+08:00

I am currently bored, broHIK busy with his tibia and dota and im all alone. Well i just felt like blogging so here it goes.. Theres something bothers me too much. Something i felt is missing. I felt " ada urang menipu aku lagi ! ". Yatah bari malas ni if rasa ani timbul, ada tah lagi yang inda di ingini akan berlaku ni. Kuat bah rasa ani, yatah SIAL ni. If banar lah ah BAH DAPAT DAH CHOW TU. Panyaluru jua tu eh mun banar wah, SENGAJA NAMA NYA TU BUI. Awas saja if BANAR (; Ergh, bae banar rasa ani! Ka utak nyamu tujunya !! Di bawa tidur inda jua mau, eh bae banar! Mesti ni ada something yang aku inda tahu, kuat bah rasa hati ani!! Mental ku jadinyaaa !! Tarus-tarus bah dalam fikiran weird jua tu. Banar-banar lagi tu ya ka pikiran, ERGH! Awu awas saja eh mun banar, ketahuan ya siapa si damit ani hehe (: Awu nada ku main-main ni wangggggg. OFF.

Title: Exhausted.

2009-11-16T01:30:00.003+08:00

Nah si awang danganku kelalahan ah, love you blackishassme (: Lalah buiii~ But anyhow hm i did have fun (: So i got cerita but i dont feel like cerita di sini hm ): I never thought eh, hope saja everytings gonna be okay. Really i just cant believe what i just heard but i cant do anything and at the sametime i felt guilty ): Ya Allah jauhi lah ku dari laki-laki cematu. So..skip that part, these three days i've been really worried, my broHM just got sick and he been complaining a lot about his head.I asked him sudah to go check-up at clinic but inda mau. Tadipun i offered him ke clinic pun inda mau. I just hope nothing serious, just headache biasa ): Oh yea my driving class haritu, buring! Macam complicated ku kan paham, But hoping i'll pass everything, bauriku bah ): Paksa bah revise macam kan exam basar watir jua sudah tu! Lain bah rasa ani s: Eh skip that eh, malas ku manjai kebaurian ku ani. And yes i cut my hair ): Macam a bit regret ku kan s: Yatah aku tu sudah dapat macam-macam tia, sasak eh. At first hyper ni kan begunting ah then macam-macam tia kusut ku! But anyhow akhirnya kesampaian jua membali galang giring-giring * my babe becakap cematu bah seluru kan saja tia q: * inda apa lah untuk kaki pun jadi lah asal ada GIRING-GIRING q: Bah im off kan liat the city dulu then mau tidur (:

Title: Face the Fact Moron.

2009-11-14T03:07:00.004+08:00

Its almost 4am and im still awake, ALONE. Tulang busy with her man and me? Alone gilabae. Tadi was entah, my mood not steady hari ani. And ergh she is so annoying! Awu dang tau urang wah kau pandai drive jangan tah sok ngajar aku!! Kau ganya yang emosi ani, aku yang kan ambil lesen kau pulang sibuk-sibuk ni?Apakan~ Inda payah dih bari watir ah, macam aku ani palui saja yang kau sok ngajar ani. Face the fact dang yang aku ani tuha lagi dari kau jangan kau sok kan ngajar aku macam aku ani bawah mu. Pidah saja ku drive mun kau sibuk-sibuk kan nyampuk-nyampuk. Awu dih tau ku dih kau pernah migang kaita so kau pro lah sudah tu ah bab-bab drive-drive ani, tae laaa~Perasahan mu mature sangat kah kau ah yang sok ngajar aku ani? Kau tu yang patut di ajar. Adang tah kau bah kan nunjuk-nunjuk ani, jangan kan luwan ngejar pemes ani mun cara bisai inda jua ah ani MALAS KAN CAKAP. And you think im controlling your life? Eh WE are just doing our responsibilities as your older brother and sister, if inda mau kana cakapi pandai-pandai lah membawa diri ani kan enjoy tah ganyaaaa. Okay i cant enjoy all that i want and you think we larang you jalan atu kami dangki kah? Eh mun pandai bawa diri manasaja pebaik kau inda balik-balik manasaja tah kau ani MALAS KAN CAKAP. Kau apa jua tau mu, kau sibuk mikir kan enjoy ganya nada lagi hal lain selain enjoy, aweh siuk eh sanang ah enjoy saja ani, pikir jua dih cana kan behidup. Pandang randah saja kau arah ku dulu (: Hm sooner i'll be changing usul blog ku ani, malas ku kan nukar buat masa ani nada mood ku. Ergh hope gonna go outting later, crash in makteh. OFF.

Title: Alone and in so much pain.

2009-11-11T00:12:00.003+08:00

I love this but semuanya tinggal kenangan...........
" Lately i've been thinking what i can do, i've been stressing out to fall back in love with you, Im so sorry that i couldnt follow through but i cant go this way i've got to stop it babe..You've been wonderful in all that you can be but it hurts when you say that you understand me.. I wanted you to be there when i fall,I wanted you too see me through it all, I wanted you to be the one i love, I wanted you I wanted you.. I wanted you to hold me in my sleep, I wanted you to show me what i need, I wanted you to know just how down deep i wanted you i wanted you.. I've been pushing hard to open up the door trying to take back where we were before but im done i just cant do this anymore cause we cant be mended lets stop pretending now..We've been walking around for circles for some time and i think we should head for the finish line... ", My heart is 100% torn apart, theres no heart left for me and im alone with this pain ): Im just a sucka for love. This pain just keep hurting me each and everyday, i can denied im just nothing to everyone espicially him. IM NOTHING, thanks for breaking my heart! THANKS A LOT!
I dont want to talk about my love life, nothing special about it anymore all i got was pain. So makteh came tadi and threw me a good news. Unfortunately i'll be having my own driving license. Makteh said she paid everything including test jalan raya but biasa lah besyarat. I dont want to mention the condition here, the important things is aku kan dapat lesen atu saja. This week start because sunday i must go sudah to sungai akar mendaftar sekulah memandu, thanks to makteh!(: I promise i will stick to my promise. Hm yes i know i sounded unhappy this suppose to be the greatest news but.... Hm malaskan cakap, my heart really-really carik dah ): not just atu pasalnya kabak-kabak rasa ku inda ku tau mengapa nervous kali ijap inda pass bah ): Actually nada mood ku wah kan ambil but makteh just give me responsibilities so if kan kemana-mana and hantar my adik-adik inda payah my parents lagi it will be my job to hantar all of them wherever they go. Huh hope saja aku pass ah, hm.. Im not in mood, Bah off. s:

Title: Liar liar pants on fire.

2009-11-10T03:27:00.002+08:00

Okay i was really overacted an hour ago, but now it just different. Its really hard for me when someone i love lied to me. And its more harder when that someone dont respect what i did, my needs and ofcourse myself. Im blank, i dont know what to do. I kinda miss my old life but its hard for me to be who i was back then. I really dont understand what he wants from this relationship, i gave everything he ask to but theres none for me. Sometimes i just felt use. I dont know what to believe anymore. I guess i was wrong to start it all over with him, theres no change at all. I dont even know whats the truth about him. For years i've been messing up myself to be that kinda person that he wants me to be but what he did was just hurting me with LIES. He didnt even aprreciate for what i have done infact he thinks of him self. I dont know how to get through this, the guy been with me for almost 5years i just cant get it what he wants. He said happiness? I dont think so, if he really want us to be happy he wouldnt do everything that he just did behind my back. I dont know maybe he doesnt want me for sure thats what i see. Showing love is by honesty, faithfully not by lies. I desserve better. I cant believe i fell for the wrong guy and love him all my heart. Read again about my previous post, was i okay? Scroll down........

Title: Bepikir biar pakai otak loh.

2009-11-10T01:50:00.003+08:00

Terbangun ku,b-t-w my day today SIAL! I just got new member for my " the best pembual ever list " and definitely ia yang top pembual dalam list ku ah. Bisai eh suka ku rupanya selama ani kana buali ku sial, awu ngucap urang bukan main macam diri atu nada dusa atu baru ya inda sadar diri. Tarang-tarang bah salah diri tapi dui macam sampah ku di buatnya, tebuat aku tu karang kan mati ngamuk nya inda buduh dari mana kan tu? Ia andang buduh mun ia inda buduh nada ya membual kan? ani semua kan di bual nya arah ku. Bae lagi tu caranya ah tebuat aku inda buleh tebuat ia buleh, lagi tia sial! Baru tah ku telarah pembual cani ani mun sudah ia paling top atu wah. Besumpah macam gilabaae ia jua di buat nya. Time-time cemani ia besumpah janji apa, alum ku kan pecaya pikir dulu before becakap. Kau expect aku kan caya kau, cuba kau kira berapa kali kau membual ah inda kali tekira eh, baru kau cakap cematu wang. Awu bukan main melarang aku ah tapi ia siuk-siuk macam gilabae membuat, sia-sia saja ku buat apa kau suruh! Semua wah ku korbankan nada menghargai langsung buduh ah, luwan-luwan di asuhnya buduh nya ah. Apakan mau kan happy tapi membuat atu membuat ani? Yatah nada ku paham tu, inda waras kali bah. Utak ada inda di gunakan, entah inda ku tau pakai apa kau bepikir ani inda patut pakai utak mun pakai utak inda tia jadi cemani. Awu pikir hilang sakitnya ani pasan ku mikin trok ada pulang! Confirm inda waras wah. Inda lagi tau beza sayang or inda, ada kah sayang nya kan aku tapi sengaja buat aku gila atu. Inda buduh dari mana tu tau ya aku banci barang atu tapi di buatnya nah sengaja jua tu? Ia ganya talur inda pandai bepikir. He thinks only " maaf " dapat nyelesaikan semua ani, buduh kali ingat aku ani apa! Lain kali inda payah tae palat melarang aku mun rasanya diri inda dapat membuat! Balik-balik dah ku cakap cematu atu, babal jua lakat! Gilabae bah caranya ah ia buleh tapi aku inda buleh atu, dapat udah mampus tu kau ah! Setahi melarang urang kima ah. Awu jadinya HATINYA MESTI DI JAGA TAPI HATI KU ANI INDA PAYAH LAH AH? BAEEE. Ingin ya buat aku gila atu suka ku SUKA BANAAAR. Apa lagi kau bual ah wang baik tah kau keluar kan semua nya, jangan luwan di asuh buduh mu ah urang lain pulang gila karang oleh mu. Dasar inda sadar diri punya urang! Supa bikin pisin nya sial. BAUTAAA. Before membuat pikir dulu ah apa rasa nya mun barang yang diri buat atu kana buat arah diri atu, jangan tau buat inda tau mikir atu namanya palui tu mun kan tau. Sudah nyangku alum kau buat yang ku mau atu nada ku puas hati, sudah nyangku tanggung akibatnya. Malar dah ku cakap lakat jua kau babal kan mati. Selama ani kau ingat aku cakap main-main wah ah, yatah kau asuh buduh mu atu. PALUIIII.

Title: What a tiring day but i have fun (:

2009-11-08T22:47:00.003+08:00

Okay it was 8th of november and i went out with broHM, sisZP, sisFR, sisJG, MALIK and JB. We went swimming dulu at stadium ato ya crowded bah stadium ah but i have fun though, kan babe?q: But too bad si adyM fetch ZP an hour later cuz he want to bring ZP with him to KB so tinggal six of us and boring broHM inda spoting inda mandi. Booo~ So after we finished swimming we went to ayamku gadong to isi perut, next trip to yayasan kali then giant. Entah im not sure mana yang first ni, but anyhow i have fun.(: But lalah jua eh, now im blogging with my sleepy eyes, i just want to post before i go to sleep. And today is JB's mom birthday and sayangnyer si anak inda tau ah berapa umur mama nya q: Anyway Happy Birthday to her, JB's mom and I hope to be calling her mama jua nanti insyaallah.(: So this is where my post stopped, im tired and sleepy have to go to sleep atupun kalau mahu ni. Kalau inda mau liat youtube tah jawapan ku tu :D
He's my baby and always be my baby, He's the reason why im still breathing, He's my favourite cookie of all and hoping to be beside him when i say " i do ", i love you ajhs.(:

p/s: Nanti presentnya babe ah tunggu saja q:

Title: Im sick of everything.

2009-11-06T00:05:00.001+08:00

Okay I slept banyak kali today. Infact tadi around 8+pm i just woke up. My mind was really kusut. Im sick of my life, infact im sick of everything. Having amnesia will be nice so that aku inda ingat lagi apa-apa pasal hidupku! Huh im tired sudah wah of everything. Overload sudah memory utak ah, payah kan di format. Banyak virus bah! Sudah di ingau kan di fikirkan gila tapi sudah inda di ingau and di fikirkan mikin pulang gila. Kusut bah kusut! Kan di settlekan datang tia yang baru, gila gila! Awu baik mampus! I wish dapat di shutdown wah hidupku ani bari sanak ka jiwa! Bah mental ku menjadi ni karang, off.

Title: Im an animal and definitely hate liars.

2009-11-03T01:30:00.001+08:00

There was a time when my world was filled with darkness and I stopped dreaming now, I'm supposed to fill it up with something. In your eyes I see the eyes of somebody i knew before long long long ago. But I'm still trying to make my mind up, am I free or am I tied up? I change shapes just to hide in this place but I'm still an animal. Nobody knows it but me when i slip,
I'm still an animal. Memang aku binatang jua kan? ( :

Everytime i tried to make things right, no one seems to aprreciate it and no one seems to understand. Feels like my life is going to end. Im sick of hoping and im sick of believing. No one seems to get me, their pretend so that i felt special. Im nothing but just a trash, animal and unexist. Their hurt me with lies. I dont have nobody but myself. So mun rasanya inda sayang aku gitau terus terang inda payah sok sayang sana atu inda payah sok ingau kan aku inda jua payah sok paham kan aku. Get that? I have feelings and it never lies. And i also have a heart that never lie either. Once it said something is wrong then banar lah tu something is wrong and thats what i felt right now. LIARS are my enemies! I dont LOVE LIARS. Harap Maklum ( :

My smile doesnt worth anything, my smile is just a lie that hide my pain. The only way i can tell that im okay is by faking a damn smile. Its hard to be a person who been keeping so much pain like i did. I just hope theres a cure for my pain cuz i hate it )': I had lost everything. Im sick of hoping. Theres no way i can hope for happiness anymore because there will be no happiness for me. If this how it'll be then i really love to say bye-bye world ( : My heart is broken to a thousand pieces and no one can fixed it. Thanks!

Title: Sorry... I dont think so.

2009-11-02T02:48:00.003+08:00

Okay today...no comment. So let me begin.. My sleep?Not great, terbangun and inda dapat tidur balik. My lunch and dinner?Ayam kicap for lunch which is good and dinner mee goreng and murtabak talur which is excellente! My relatioship?I dont know, okay i guess. So overall my day was...50% good, maybe im not sure. Got gossips but inda mau share di sini, im not mean. But do me a favor will ya? Open your mind and grow up already! In this world we dont have to enjoy everyday, we got so many other things to do. Yes i know you want freedom but not in your way. Youre like using people and thats not cool. You think of yourself, youre not the only one yang hidup dalam dunia ani jelama lain sekikiling mu kan kamu apa? Hope you know whats good and whats not, im not trying to insult you or whatsoever but for the better not for the worse. The two of you sama saja. Hope you guys know saja lah whats best for your future, i have so much things to say but sia-sia saja tu you wont even listen. So atu saja lah im not trying to be si pandai and si mengajar here like i said its for the better not for the worse, you guys got a long way to go. Remember people around you, think whats best, aim what you aim for, appreciate things that been given and etc. You guys had responsibilities so did everyone else. Try to stand if you think youre falling. Being someone that youre not doesnt do you any good, be yourself and stay that way. Dont do what people do unless its right. Hope the best for you guys, be a better person show people that you can! Off, its tv time ( :

My head just cant get enough of you and i dont mind cuz i know that i love you and you know that well too, AJHS.

Title: My heavy head.

2009-11-01T15:10:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was fun. Turns out my sisFR inda jadi so there were six of us, all couples ( : It was a very tiring day for me cuz aku inda cukup tidur yatah i slept early lastnight, before 1am sudah ku dibuai mimpi. So we went to many places which i dont barely remember. And gosh because of my clothes i have to wear my tudong mun inda kana sembalih karang : D Actually if inda pakai tudong pun okay pulang inda menjuluk mata nya urang tapi entah ah i just felt like wearing tudung tapi ia jua kusut nya aku ahh. So we have dinner at delima i cant remember the restaurant name but the menu wow delicious punya! For my menu i gave 9/10, nyaman bah nyaman tapi inda jua teabis. Nyaman tapi at the sametime parut ani sakit wah dont know why. Thanks to malik for the treat ( : Oh yes my head is really heavy right now, my eyes is sleepy like hell but macam biasa di bawa tidur inda mau. Oh ya how happy i am the new episode of the hills main lagi and also the city! I've been waiting for like months episode baru main, i just love both of the series i learn something from there that whats make me become addicted to it and this november the new episode of keepin up with the kardashians kan main yes! Cant wait! Well now i want to take some rest lalah ku bah, melayan the simpsons dulu : D

You took my heart away, AJHS.

Title: Yesterday, today and tomorrow will never be a good day for me.

2009-10-23T00:29:00.002+08:00

So im really pissed of right now. As i thought i know i will never get to tidur muara tadi so AKU STRESS! Pasal IA jua tu!! BANCI BANAR KU EHHH! Okay i'll stop mentalling because no use jua. Currently now im just doing nothing just searching something to watch on youtube sampai mata ani close. And oh how love sick i am, lately i've been singing and listening to some deep love songs. I just cant fight it you know, im in love so what? I know aku ke jiwa, emotional lah apa lah like i said so what? Namanya jua urang in love. Not just that, lately i've been watching some movies which have something to do with love. SHOOT! Im officially love sick! And i dont mind cuz all i think about is you babe ( : Awu i promise i'll recharge later, as soon as i woke up from sleep ( : Okay before i end this post let me bejiwang sekejap : D Memandang wajah mu cerah membuat ku tersenyum senang indah dunia..Tentu saja kita pernah mengalami perbedaan kita lalui..Tapi aku merasa jatuh terlalu dalam cintamu..Ku tak akan berubah ku tak ingin kau pergi selamanya..Ku kan setia menjaga mu bersama diri mu..Sampai nanti akan selalu bersama diri mu..Saat bersama mu kasih ku merasa bahagia dalam peluk mu..Tapi aku merasa jatuh terlalu dalam cintamu..Ku tak akan berubah ku tak ingin kau pergi selamanya..Seperti yang kau kata kan kau akan selalu ada, menjaga memeluk diriku dengan cinta mu.. Okay im off to watch some movies hingga tertidur, assalamualaikum!

Im feeling love sick but i dont mind cuz youre the only one i think about everyday and everynight, AJHS ( :

Title: Not feeling okay as always.

2009-10-21T21:46:00.003+08:00

I just felt blogging so here it goes. Im not feeling well as usual. Sleepy saja but this eyes just wont let me sleep, sudah di bawa tidur inda mau tapi ngantuk-ngantuk ya. No mood kan apa-apa, i still dont have the mood to recharge my credit macam pidah i buy credit inda jua mengisi. I dont know i felt really entah ah, hard to explain. Hope tomorrow sleepover at muara cuz i cant stand di rumah! Mudahan tah tidur muara esuk eh, mun inda alamat menjadi lagi ni stress ah! Oh ya im not mad at you babe well maybe sikit, i told you sudah wah dont call rumah kan ani lakat jua inda merati eh. How many times sudah di bagitau lakat jua. You know i really dislike you if you didnt follow my orders, just like you bah mana suka kan if i didnt follow your cakap? Same lah jua like aling eh. Alright suddenly im speechless its bedtime now. Apparently im sleeping early today, hope i can sleep. Goodnight !

I'm yours , AJHS.